OH! and also

I have bumped Liam up to 4 oz. of fruit & veggie at his meal times - thinking/hoping that would help with "sleeping through the night".

There is seriously just some sort of Witching Hour Siren he must hear at EXACTLY 11PM every.single.night. I wonder what kind of Super Hero Club or Shakespearean Into the Forest Gang he belongs to. I have searched for his membership card and any special markings on his body but have yet to discover anything...

Plus, I'm jealous I havent been invited yet.

Brewing Scandal in Mommy Group Land!

Cue the dramatic, soap opera music

Background:

I hosted a crop this weekend for the sub-chapter Scrap Club (which I am taking over as moderator!) of the main DCMetroMommies (DCMM) group.

I got a few "strange" emails from a mommy, who at first I just chalked up to being young, possibly, and not really knowing the art of email conversation. They would be one sentence emails consisting of "what's a crop", "where do you live", "do you like it there" - no punctuation, no capital letters AND never signing her name. I got a "vibe" from her and just replied with my own one word responses - which if you know me, you know that's not my "style".

When I emailed directions she responded with "I got kicked out of the group (main DCMM) cause I wouldnt give personal information to them because I've been stalked by my ex before" so I thought that a little odd on a couple of different levels.

1) Our group moderators insist on meeting you in person before allowing you to become a member of your local sub-chapter (mine is West Prince William County...) so that they can weed out any, hmmm, bad weeds. This a good safeguard against loonies, I agree with that, but what happens when someone in the group is being harassed and is protecting themselves? How do they get treated and since we protect ourselves against outsiders should we not protect our insiders from outsiders in return? I thought it was a little strange, or at least my "wierdo radar" went off.
2) After NEVER giving me her name (you could not determine it from her email address) she unloaded all this information onto me & then told me she was kicked out of the group because of it. I sympathized with her to an extent because thank god, I have never had to deal with Cyber-Stalking, right?

So I emailed the present moderator to let her know our attendance at the event & also mentioned these emails, just briefly and not in full detail, to see what her response would be. It turns out you CANNOT be a member of any sub or local chapter if you are BANNED from the main group - she was BANNED not "kicked out" for HARASSING other mothers. I'm awaiting the official emails discussing her "actions" since I am taking over the group and need to be "aware" of such things. But so far, stories are not matching up & the "vibe" I got from her leads me to siding with our main group's decision to BAN her from all groups.

I'll keep you posted as the storyline heats up ;)

Cannot contain my excitement!

I have been coveting and searching high & low for the Peek & Play Dome from Playskool since probably December & we went out looking for it yesterday without any success. So I decided to buy it online and just pay the shipping costs. WALMART had it for $10 cheaper than Target and they had it "in stock" so I went there to order it and it was ONLY $25!! AND the shipping was only 97 CENTS. It's not a pick up in store order (and even if it was it's only around the corner) and will be delivered between Thursday & Saturday!!

It says it's on clearance but I dont know why it's marked as such since the Playskool website isnt saying it's being discontinued or anything!

Liam has totally outgrown his "gym" and we've even packed it away so he totally needed something else to take its place for his morning activity. I dont like putting him in his office first thing in the morning as I think that over stimulates him & I like him to wake up quietly & easily, if that's possible with a squealing, kicking, spaz of a 6 1/2 month old :)

I'm so happy we finally got this for him and at such a stellar price! It's won all sorts of awards and has a bunch of add-on toys and activity suggestions to go along with it. I know he'll love it & I'm just so giggly over it! I've had my eye on it ever since I saw it written up in Parenting (I think) and then I kept seeing it and know I needed to have it but sometimes with the "bigger ticket items" Matias will balk or drag his feet on them until he has "proof" that it's good for him & not just a "toy" and that Liam likes it - we normally "test drive" stuff in the store, actually putting him in things to see his reaction - but I just sent him all the information on it & showed him the awards it has won & told him all the different activities and skills he can develop by using it and he agreed it was a Must Have.

Phew. Who knew I could get so excited over a activity center?!

New Game & more sleep talk

I have a new game I play with Liam in the evening that I like to call "Mommy can scream louder than you!"

He LOVES it. He squeals and tries to hit all these new pitches that he is discovering and then I scream louder than him and he goes crazy. It's the simple things, really, that keep our kid happy, isnt it?

Matias could not really get over this little interaction we had going on because it's normally played as we wait for him to get home - that horrible, almost melt-down , bored you Mommy, where the devil is Daddy time - and nothing else keeps him occupied. So we have a ton of pictures & possibly even video of it all because he is that funny.

Last night was one of the roughest for our little Fellow. To preface this though I must add that Mommy & Daddy went to bed late after watching a movie (The Devil wears Prada) and then some episodes of SATC (season 5) that we have recently 'acquired'. And by late, I mean 2am. I was up with him from 3am-5am and then Matias was up with him from 5am-6:30. I didnt realize he had gotten up & was even missing out of the bed until we discussed his poor sleeping this morning. We just moved his nursing chair into his room & that saved both of us last night as we rocked him (and probably snoozed a little ourselves) in his room without bringing him into ours and possibly waking the other up. But the little guy was so uncomfortable. He had been up prior to the early AM times too - at like 10pm he woke up and nursed for a LONG time - this was after having 4 oz. of carrots and cereal after his last nursing that evening. I could not believe he was hungry again, but hungry again he was. He slept until about 8:30am so we probably have a combined total of 5 hours sleep MAYBE for him & more like 3 hours sleep for each Mommy & Daddy. Matias asked me what was wrong this morning cause my eyes were all red, he thought I had been crying - exhaustion, sweetie.

We are going to Target today to get his NEW car seat & some Motrin. I'm not a believer in medicating your kid to make them sleep/behave but I do hope that it brings some relief to him & allows him to rest. We plan on going after his nap & I'm interested to see how long he is out for today. Yesterday he didnt take 2 hour + naps but I had someone over to Crop so I'm thinking we might have messed with his sleep since we are located right under his room...

It will be nice to be able to talk about something other than naps & sleep schedules though! And it would also be nice for Liam to realize that you cannot really successfully fall asleep sitting up.

Memorabilia Box suggestions?

So I got a subscription to Parenting and really wanted the Free Gift they were including - a sage green memorabilia box that I was going to use for all of Liam's cards and such BUT I got a different gift cause they ran out! We got a cute green frog that you use to hold you bath toys - cute and practical but not what I wanted...

My question to y'all is what are you using & where did you get it? I would LOVE something under $15 :)

6 Month Updates

They are complete & just waiting for the pictures to be cut & then they are out the door!

Grandma, I'm not mailing yours as you will be here before they reach your mailbox :)

And I tasked Matias with picking them up since he was driving right past there on his way home from work AND even he could not resist the "extra" pictures they print out for you to be suckered into buying more. I mean, seriously, do they just toss out the ones you dont purchase? Leaving your child's pictures to be thrown in the garbage? How can anyone resist that? Bastards.

But YAY! We got more than I was "budgeted" thanks to the Suckering. More Liam Fellowness to spread around!

Nap time!

Well, he's definitely transitioning to the 2 two hour naps each day but when those naps happen is a big old spin of the Who the Hell Knows Wheel. And it doesnt really depend on when he wakes up - like today he slept until almost 8:30 but then went down for his nap at 10:30 - whereas other days he's been getting up earlier and still lasting until 10:30ish or even one day when he didnt go down until after 11!

Still feeling this one out, it seems...

ohmygoodlordno

Liam just threw something. On purpose. And it was not his chupie.

Vandalizin' for Prosperity

Last night as we were making a video of Liam walking backwards, playing soccer and grabbing his belly (it's rather long but will be uploaded to dropshots in one hot second), I commented that Liam was already 1/2 way up Matias' thighs, height wise. This lead us to make our own growth chart on the kitchen wall :) You'll see how tall he is & I just cannot get over it! And maybe he's normal & I'm just not used to it but I think it's a TOTAL trip that when standing he comes up that high on Daddy.

We might actually purchase a growth chart for his room, but neither of us hesitated when we talked about just marking up our rented wall - with pencil, of course.

Last one! (for now)

See, Grandma, told you I was "standing"!

Picture of the Day

If you are hungry, you can snack on this little edible Fellow

My three boys

Family Portrait

Chillin'

Liam sitting & chillin' with his ice cream cone teether

Pressies!

Melia sent Liam the BESTEST present EVER!

This kid is going to be rocking this sweatshirt at the Gorge for sure :)

The Teefies are coming! The Teefies are coming!

Liam has been a little more fussier than normal & having issues nursing throughout the day & his little gums are swollen and the bumps are more bumpy and whiter :(

Last night, we had one of our worst little meltdowns yet. He woke up crying really hard around 12:30 or so and could not be consoled. I finally had Daddy go get his teething ice cream cone after nursing was not going to happen and he happily "ate" that until he tossed it on the ground squarely in a mound of Monkey Fur so that was the end of that...

The only way I could get him to calm down was the hum Beatles songs to him. I hummed the first 10 tracks of that [damn] CD to him and rocked him. He moaned and groaned a little but it was helping as he was caressing my hair and playing with my fingers as we rocked and hummed. I had finally had enough of the Beatles and moved onto DMB and then into my limited set of nursery lullabyes - he finally was nicely back asleep in my arms at 1:30am! Poor little guy!

He didnt wake up again until 7:30 (or at least that's what I'm remembering! Matias might have gotten up with him one more time...) and he's as happy as can be & back napping again now. Totally disproving my "new nap schedule" theory from yesterday - or at least for today.

He is biting and chewing on anything in sight - anything on his Office is fair game regardless of if it's intended to be used in that manner, my fingers are in his mouth all the time (I'm not feeling any nubbies poking through yet), and he is really being aided by his teething toys.

I guess only time will tell though!

Drool.

My word.

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/cribrock2

They let you play the whole song in winamp. I'm in 80s HEAVEN. Oh damnit, it's not the whole song. Only 2 minutes.

Hungry Like a Wolf though is fantastic.

Housekeeping update

I've switched over to the new Blogger format & so far, I am LOVING it! Easier for me to change stuff up and not have to know how to code, I get to add labels (see bottom of posts) so that you can search by those labels to see what else I've written about on that topic, and links are much easier to list on the sidebar (see right). As you can see I've made some changes and additions already - Rach, I've added Nathan (hope that is ok!) and a quick link to dropshots. A picture of the Fellow was added for your constant viewing pleasure & a list of his favorite things (ever changing!) was created also.

What's in YOUR freezer?

(that always reminds me of the Capital One commercial, What's in YOUR wallet?)

This is what's in my freezer right now for Liam's Menus:

Carrots - his favorite
Butternut Squash
Sweet Potato
Apples
Pears - I now mix these rather thin puree into his morning cereal
Peaches
Plums - we havent tried these yet, they are just 'in my freezer'
Green, seedless, Grapes cut into 1/4 pieces for his foray into "finger foods"
Cooking right now - nectarines!
To be cooked tomorrow - green beans!

And in other news - I believe we are transitioning to a new sleep schedule! One that involves TWO two hour naps a day. For the past three days he has slept from 11-1 and then again from 2ish-5ish depending...we are still figuring out the afternoon nap. These longer naps are HEAVEN! I actually get a LOT of stuff done - as you can see I get his food stuff made, I get work done for CM & I might even start getting some more cropping done! YAY! He wakes up such a renewed little Fellow from these long naps too - what a difference! He's never woken up unhappy before, you can just see what this longer nap does for him. It's fantastic!

Picture of the Day

The whole series of A Fellow in a Hoodie Sweater can be found at my dropshots but this is my favorite one, I think.

He’s perfect? If you insist!

Who am I to argue with an expert?

Doctors appointment went really well today until the shots & like Grandma said, I believe it’s because he’s getting older and realizing more of what ‘pain’ (or holy shit what did you just do to me?) is. He got the first round of his flu shot also which is a little more painful than his vaccinations to begin with. Poor little guy cried his Big Tears. I nursed him while we were waiting to check for any reaction to the flu shot & that seemed to help as he fell asleep but then, of course, woke up when we had to put him back into his car seat.

He was a SPAZ the entire time we were there. Moving and grabbing and drooling and babbling, according to the doctor he “is a very active baby” [please see post about him swinging from my ribcage]. And of course no toy was good enough he HAD TO HAVE my Liam Notebook with my all important “Questions to Ask” List in it.

But on with the Stats portion -

Weight: 17.2 lbs. YAY!! Good boy!! Growing boy!! YAY!! For those keeping score at home that’s a gain of 3.2 lbs. in 1 1/1 months. He’s still coming in at “average” on the charts but I’m not worried anymore, I’m just using the charts to gauge his progress against himself – not others.

Height: 28 ¼” YAY!! Good boy!! Growing boy!! He’s about ¾ of an inch away from being too big for his infant car seat so this weekend we are going to switch him to his next seat up which will last him until he’s forward facing and then some. For those keeping score at home that’s a growth of 1 ¼” in 1 ½ months. He’s now considered in the 95% - no longer off the charts but still “up there”!

Head Circumference: 17 ½” YAY!! Good boy!! Growing boy!! Check out the big brain on Brad!! [name that movie & I’ll eat a cookie for you] For those keeping score at home that’s a growth of 1 ¼” in 1 ½ months. I think she said that puts him in the 90% somewhere.

It was a long appointment though – we were there from 11:30 to almost 1:00 – in between the chatting about the next phases in his feeding routine & his shots + the wait time to clear for reaction. Then we came home and the little stinker would not go back to sleep until 3pm, then had the audacity to wake up before GH was over. He’s asleep again though so I think he’s catching up on his rest.

He did fantastic in his car seat during our drive. I didn’t hear one negative word out of him, if he wasn’t singing or babbling he was listening to me singing. I could watch him and see that he was turning his head in my direction as I sang (Stand Up, for those playing at home) and just chilling out. I am hoping that he’s done with his Throw a Fit in the Car Phase – more for my sake than his. I think we might actually try not sitting in the back with him when we go places (not long trips though!) now.

And in more Jen News – I was NUMBER 2 IN SALES for the 4^th Quarter for my ENTIRE UNIT!! AND I only started “counting” in October!!! YAY!!! Just need to keep it ALL up and keep building my business!

Is he an Angel or a Bear?!?!

A Primary Colored Plastic Universe Exploded in my House

OR

There’s a shit load of infant toys on the floor.

I look to my right & all I see is yellow, red, blue and some green – TOYS! His gym, his farm, his blocks for his farm, his train, his office, his fishbowl – all strewn across my floor & it’s a strange sight. I both love it & hate it at the same time – as primary colors are not my primary decorating colors – but then I ‘remember’ who they are for & I just get over it. There’s nothing to be done once your floors get overtaken by the Toys. I try to pick them up every night after Liam goes to bed but last night I was asleep on the couch by 10pm and had vigorously avoided the State of the Union address by boring myself to sleep watching Veronica Mars and the Toys remained. We are stepping & kicking & tripping over them already & he’s only 6 months old, I don’t see that a reflection of my housekeeping ‘skills’ or Matias’ understanding of the phrase “bull in a china shop” (it’s a compliment, right?), it’s just Life. And it’s a Clangy, Loud Life these days & amidst the Clanging & the Loud, I can see our future in it all. The Boy crawling and running and stumbling around, the cats Running for Their Lifes and the sound of Toys being pelted on the hardwood, cat fur prairie.

Liam tried to “crawl” a little more this morning – first after Monkey (a willing partner in crime) & then one of his stray blocks – he did quite well with using his arms AND knees at the same time but kind of “teetered” on his full of cereal from breakfast stummy. I was a little frightened of the impending pukefest because of that so I scooped him up, wiped off his drool covered face & let him play with Monkey from the safety of Sitting Up. We’ll get back to that sometime today, I’m sure of it.

His waking time is all over the clock these days – I can pinpoint it to sometime between 6:30 and 9am. Helpful, no? His naps aren’t lasting for any predictable amount of time & lately he’s even been throwing in one or two more naps, of course depending on what the earlier part of the day looked like. A growth spurt is likely to blame for this nonsense but still it leaves me guessing a lot these days as to what he needs. Hell, one day he fell asleep at 11:17am after nursing & woke up at 2:30. Then I didn’t stuff him full of his apples & pears but nursed him again & then he was asleep at 4pm again. Yesterday, he napped for 20 minutes, twice in the morning & then, I think, took 3 naps in the afternoon. He’s all over the place! I’m just trying to keep his belly full (Pimp Juice first, Meals second) and his mind active when he is awake.

For a few days he skipped the wake up at 11pm madness – seems he only decided to push that back to 11:15 or so. He’s holding onto the 3am-ish feeding which is fine but the closer he wakes to 3am the closer he wakes to 6am and then the closer he wakes to 4am the closer he wakes at 7am. And then he pulls the Sleep In trick, like on Sunday, and sleeps until 9:10am.

ANYWAY.

Matias taught him a new trick – after a song ends, Beatles of course, he says something that resembles “huh” and now he does it every_single_time a song ends! Even if he’s got his head down on my shoulder, ½ asleep he’ll let out a little “huh” and I have to respond with another “huh”. I worry/wonder that he’ll keep himself awake waiting for the end of the song so he can “huh”.

Also, if he’s watching TV, Matias will put his hand out in front of his facing blocking his view of the TV. The Boy LEANS OVER TO SEE AROUND HIS HAND.

He’s also smacking his lips & blowing LOTS of HUGE spit bubbles. He’s playing with his tongue a lot more often these days too.

I’ve basically got him using his chupie only in his crib. It doesn’t come downstairs with us & it doesn’t leave the nursery either. He rarely keeps it in during his entire nap/sleep so I have no problem with that. So now he’s got a garden of chupies in his crib! And we had to retire his newborn chupie (don’t worry, I put it away for safe keeping!) that the hospital gave us as it was just getting disgusting and he’s chewing on them now…and I replaced them with 6 month + ones and it did take him a few days of getting used to the new size to not refuse it. And by “refuse it” I mean spit it out and most likely have it land UNDER the crib. Sometimes he even hands it to me by placing it very close to my mouth, which, of course, I’m taking as a gesture to share his chupie with his Mama. Which, thanks, but no thanks. *gag*

Tomorrow we go for our 6 month checkup & I am waiting to hear that we need to get him his new car seat. The one he has now goes up to 29” and I can almost guarantee that he has grown 2” in the past 1 ½ months. The one we’ve picked out passed that Consumer Reports 70-80 mph test, so if I get blindsided on the freeway, I feel quite confident. Right.

And now some Mommy News/Queries:

1) When does the night sweating stop? Not only is it still disgusting but it’s downright chilly to get out of bed, full of sweat to sit and nurse him during the night. I’ve taken to putting a hoodie on before I sit down to nurse him but I still get the chills because of it. I’ve always been a person who sleeps fully clothed, even sometimes with a sweatshirt over my flannel PJs and I always sleep with socks on. Last night I put a tank top and Capri pants on and still sweated my ass off.

2) My new birth control, which I finally got use to wearing (I’m using the Patch) costs $50 a MONTH. I wont be continuing that next month so I have to call the doctor and find a cheaper method. People, that’s $600 a YEAR. I suspect my insurance, just switched to Matias’, doesn’t cover it. Bastards.

3) I think I’ve lost some weight. And I only know/think this because certain body parts are no longer touching other certain body parts. According to our shitty IKEA scale, I still have only lost about 7 lbs. since I gave birth to Liam so it’s sitting in the to be taken to the curb pile.

4) I went to one MNO on Friday & had a great time – of course Liam was awake and “looking” for Mama when I rolled in at 11:45pm. I’m going to another one this Friday but wont be out as late since we are going to a restaurant and not someone’s home.

5) Also related to #3, I’m attempting to start tracking my food points, a la Weight Watchers, but really haven’t made a serious attempt at it YET. I mentally tracked them the other day & with the 10 extra nursing points you get, I know I didn’t even come close to eating all my points. So maybe I’m just a fat ass?

6) Even in the last week, I’ve found it much easier to do Jen Things because Liam is becoming less dependent on me for the Pimp Juice. He nurses anywhere from 5-6 times a day (including our early am session) depending on his nap schedule. And with stretches in between that run anywhere from 2-4 hours. So I treasure the time even more that we are “together” but also breathe a little sigh of relief that we literally are not “attached” as often and that, also literally, frees me up to be Jen more often.

Scooter

I think we've got a "scooter" on our hands - he was sitting with Monkey earlier trying to figure out how to get closer to him. He rocked a few times leaning forward then instead of going all the way forward and onto his knees, he kind of just attempted to PULL himself closer. He made a little ground because he was on the hardwood. He has pushed himself up into crawling position where his arms are concerned but then he leans all the way forward and THEN throws his butt up in the air - he needs to bring his knees up a little more - instead of doing to all at once to truly be in the crawling position.

He's definitely trying though!

There’s a 6 Month Old in my bed

As I started to think about what I was going to write about for Liam’s 6 Month Old GushFest, I figured I might be ready to tell the gory details of his “birth story” but since that took over 15 hours to happen, I’m not quite sure how long it’s going to take me to write about it because every single detail is still clear in my head, minus the gibberish I was screaming through the pain, but I think it’s a good time to commemorate that event! It’s hard for me to believe that he is 6 months old already and that truly, the time has passed so quickly and yet so slowly as if allowing me to remember and soak up everything that has happened.

6 months ago, at 12:20AM TWO doctors struggled to unhinge our Bebe, sex still unknown, from my ribcage – under which he had firmly planted his feet and was NOT coming out. It took TWO doctors because my doctor’s hands were too large to fit all up in there and unhook him alone, so in went another set of hands. It was at this point that Matias calmly looked over the draping and turned to me and said “your liver is on your chest”, it was that point that I turned my head and puked. They claim you feel “tugging & pulling” when they perform a c-section but I simply had never experienced “tugging & pulling” like that before in my life – I suppose that’s what happens when your little one decides to swing from your ribcage with his feet firmly planted underneath your ribs. Unfortunately that wasn’t the sole reason for the c-section – Bebe’s head was pushing against my cervix with no where to go – Bebe was NOT coming out the traditional way REGARDLESS of how much pushing (45 minutes) I did or how many drugs (2 drugs, administered twice since I broke through the pain at one point) simply because his head was NEVER going to fit through. So there he dangled, suspended by my ribs with his head firmly planted in the ready to come out position. For 15 hours.

I made it until about noon before getting the epidural and that was way longer than any nurses (God Bless Teresa) and my mother had felt necessary but we wanted to give it the old college try. They argued that if I wanted to have the energy to push when the time came that I needed to save what I could & hurry up and get the damn drugs. It was at that point, while screaming & crying through the pain that I tried to explain to Matias that it wasn’t muscular contractions that were hurting me and making me scream “good lord do something to make this pain go away” that it was his head slamming repeatedly into my BONES and radiating down my cervix, into my hips and down my legs. THIS was something different and unexpected. And good fucking lord, the pain. I needed the drugs badly. I was experiencing contractions about every 30 seconds and each one had me crawling up the bed, trying to release myself from the pain that was coming from Down There. Numerous times, my mom had to leave the room because she couldn’t stand to see me in such pain & numerous times the nurses kept asking me if I wanted the drugs yet. Finally, when I agreed, the procedure to administer the drug was a mountain of intensity that required all my attention & focus – something that was a bit hard to do with contractions bearing down on me and having to be in a seated position and waiting for them to stick a needle in my back without me moving unless I wanted to cause serious damage to myself. They had to give me the drugs during a contraction because there was NO downtime to slip it in between. Then bliss was upon me. I passed the fuck out. For hours. And I continued to dilate through my haze. And the nurses called me a lightweight. And then I broke through the epidural and screamed so loudly that I scared my father off who had finally worked up the “courage” to come see me. He heard me screaming down the hall & decided that it was NOT a good time to visit. I threw up popsicles – red and blue ones. I had to go Number 2 and couldn’t go the bathroom to use it so the doctors had to help me, in bed, go to the bathroom. I was sweating, I was cold, I was screaming for Matias to turn up the temperature in the room. All the while DMB was playing on our stereo – we brought all 4 nights of Red Rocks with us. I remember screaming at him to turn Jimi Thing off cause I was sick and tired of that jam. Then when that run was over, we put on Before These Crowded Streets and that repeated about 4 times before we brought it into the operating room with us. Periodically, I would ask for the music to be turned up. Sometimes I would request shows that he didn’t bring with him. Who goes to the hospital on 7.19 and DOESN’T BRING 7.19 WITH THEM? My mom offered to come home and get it and while I tried to explain that she’d never understand how to burn .shn files from a .shn audio library, I just gave up and cursed Matias for forgetting my Grey Street.

They woke me up to tell me I was at 10 cm & we were going to start pushing but if that didn’t work in under an hour we were going to go to surgery. The Bebe’s heartbeat was starting to dip & the stress of being SLAMMED up against my cervix was started to wear on the little one. They had to dial down my drugs for me to even understand that I was pushing so I started to feel the pain radiating through my bones again. Let me stress here that the pain of bone upon bone INSIDE your body is not the same pain as muscle contractions. I SWEAR I could handle the muscle contractions. So we started pushing & I looked at the clock & asked if we could get this over with before the days’ end – we wanted a 7.19 bebe and that was NOT going to happen. I pushed and he didn’t budge – not one inch – he had no where to go. They warned about having a big baby – over 9 lbs they guessed with a head to match. I got scared at that point, I’m not sure why at THAT point because we knew he was coming via c-section so I didn’t have to birth a 9 pounder but I think it set in that I would be bringing home a LARGE baby. I remember looking at my mom & Matias with a look of shock on my face – 9 pounds?!?! – When did that happen!?!? We started to prepare for surgery which means in our book – ask if we can play music in the operating room and grab the CD. I did NOT enjoy being on the gurney and being wheeled down to the room, I started getting nervous then also. Matias had disappeared & I kept calling for him but no one could find him – turns out he was looking for a CD player to bring with us. But he almost missed it all. He finally “scrubbed in” and we were off. “Tugging & pulling” lasted for about 20 minutes and it’s the most disgusting sensation I have ever experienced. I did not enjoy having TWO sets of hands “all up in me”.

Finally the person who gives you the drugs (cannot spell that word for the life of me) was directing Matias to peek over the drapes & actually had to FORCE me to look – she pulled down the drape and psychically LIFTED my head up so I COULD WATCH MY BEBE BEING BORN. I fought her on doing that cause I was somewhat freaking out & didn’t want to see my “liver on my chest” but I am SO GLAD she insisted. We both got to see the birth of our bebe. And it wasn’t as messy as I thought, and he wasn’t covered in goo or blood and I screamed “don’t tell me what it is, let my husband tell me!” Matias leaned over and said “it’s a boy and he looks just like you!” and they couldn’t bring him to me quick enough. We had our Liam Robert, just like I knew we would. And they gave him to Matias & he cut the cord, he brought him to me and we just greeted him & stroked his tiny little (non 9 pound) face and sat in awe and wonder of his perfection (which I still do on a daily basis). 10 fingers, 10 toes, brown hair, wide open brown eyes and gangly little frog legs and flaying little arms. And he was here. And I puked. And then I passed out.

I woke up in our recovery room to Matias urging me awake to feed Liam or else they’d have to give him the bottle – it was now after 2am – and he was hungry. So drugged and unsure of what I was doing I brought Liam to my breast, this being the first real time I held him, and nursed my precious baby boy. He slept with me the rest of the night, only leaving my side to be with his Daddy.

I was pretty well medicated throughout my stay so some details feel like a possible dream instead of reality and I still often ask “did that really happen or was that just the meds talking?”. My family was there, including my niece and nephew, and our room was full from the start of visiting hours well past the end of visiting hours. Liam only left our room to be checked out by the doctors and even then we went searching after him when we felt he had been gone too long. We had music playing constantly in our room for him & more than one nurse noted how good that was for him & how wonderful it was we were doing that for him. Matias had his laptop & when I could manage to get out of bed to walk around or use the facilities I would hop online to check our emails of well wishes. And I realized I wasn’t scared or nervous or doubting myself & my abilities. I realized that this shit REALLY DOES kick in when needed. I knew I wouldn’t drop him, I knew I wouldn’t hurt his tiny little body, I knew I was changing the diaper properly & I knew that he wouldn’t burp lying on his stomach over my shoulder. Seriously, a Mother REALLY Does Know These Things. And I realized; I could do this. And I suppose that really isn’t the best time to realize that but the confidence just comes & you know what needs to be done & how to do it. I may never have felt my clock ticking but you certainly do not miss the sensation of Becoming a Mother – it just washes over you like a gentle wave of understanding & you just start co-existing with your little Bebe in your new little world. Suzanne said something to me a few weeks later when she was over for a BBQ that has stuck with me because I believe it to be true – you are not given a baby that isn’t perfect for you. I might have gone through just about every complication in the book, felt pain like never imagined & still REMEMBER, and talked in tongues to get Liam but he is the baby we were meant to have and every day that is as clear as daylight to me.

Everyday I’m amazed at how clearly he is our child. From the way he wrinkles his nose when he smiles, to the eye scrunching he does when he’s thinking about something, to the crooked smiles he gives the cats every time he sees them – he is the perfect combination, if I do say so myself, of Matias & me. He thinks like his Daddy – takes him time analyzing the task ahead of him, mentally dissecting it until he knows how it works and then making it work on his own. He knows how to make his farm play Old MacDonald by pulling down on the blue door and he knows to make his train go by hitting the smoke stack. He knows these things because he watched and learned not because he randomly hit upon it in his bashing around of his toys. He knows that Ramon, the Penguin from Happy Feet, will talk to him if he talks first. And he knows that he needs to go to sleep when Love Me Do is playing.

His level of understanding the cause & effect of his actions amazes me. And it’s not simply because he is the most brilliant boy that ever was either! He just GETS it. Poor boy though, he simply does NOT get this teething thing though & the frustration is evident. I’m sure as soon as the tooth comes in; he’ll be all “so THAT’S what all this fuss was about!” and move along his merry way. So much of child-raising to this point has been more about giving him the right tools and developmental abilities that enables his natural abilities to come forth more than TEACHING him how to do these things. I never want to lose the ability to SEE in my child the things he is capable of & knowing exactly how to foster that growth that lies naturally within him. To say children “blossom” is not a misnomer – it is evolution. And I don’t think it surprises me that Matias turned to me the other night and said “biology is my new thing, I’m really into learning about biology” and I just said “I know” – I can see the wonderment in him too. The need to understand how this happens and why & how to deconstruct it until he understands it; starting from Square One & in his quest to understand “the evolution of gender”, he will discover the wonderment of Liam. What I call it is “the miracle of life”.

Liam is my little star that was always there in the sky waiting to be captured and brought to us. He was plucked right from the celestial heavens, after waiting for his time to come and given to us to nurture and send back into the universe. He is my Star of Wonder. He is strong, eternal & his soul shines so brightly that his greatness is visible to the naked eye. I hope that I can foster that greatness so that others can share in it. Cause let me tell you, there is nothing in this world like a Liam Fellow. I’m so proud to call myself his Mother.

More Shots Dropped

I've uploaded a bunch of Liam eating new foods photos and some Liam cooking with Daddy pictures and videos :)

www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

Feel free to comment there so I dont have to constantly see the "thank god he looks like matias" comment from the PitA - HA! PITA!

Impending teeth

Matias turned to me last night & said "I cannot picture him with TEETH" and neither can I! I just cannot imagine what he will look like with a little tooth popping up!!

He wants to inject him with some magical hormone that keeps him a baby ;) I simply replied that he's doing exactly what he's supposed to do, grow up before our very eyes.

Bizarre, though.

Bangs head

We have created a little Beatles monster. I've tried the past couple days to put him down for his naps with various other CDs of nice, mellow music that he likes and he will fight the nap. Toss in Beatles and he's OUT BEFORE THE FIRST SONG IS OVER.

*sigh* It wouldn't be bad if we didn't hear it over the monitor (ha! I typed momitor!) for the entire time.

People, it's started again

I NEED THESE!!!

http://www.laurengdesigns.com/shop.asp?action=cat&catID=10635&parentCatID=7331

Guess which ones I want. I have two in mind. In my crazy, crazy mind. GOOD LORD I WANT PERSONALIZED NOTECARDS FOR LIAM SO BAD I CAN TASTE IT!!!

Mundane Update

Couple things that are rather mundane but milestones nonetheless!

1) Liam is now in Size 3 diapers (Target brand starts size 3 at 16 lbs.)
2) We'veI've introduced Pears into his lunch & he seems to like them. They seem to be a little on the thin side, so next time I'll just cut back on the amount of water I use to puree them
3) He has stopped waking up at 11pm (crosses fingers against jinxing myself) & last night didnt wake up at 3:30ish and slept until 7:30! I dont mind the middle of the night feeding really though (and neither does the boob) but I'm all about him dropping that 11pm business.
4) We go for our 6 Month Pictures today
5) He's losing interest in his Stretch/Gym Time in the morning...must find something else for him to do that doesnt involve too much stimulation & allows him to stretch and wake up nice & slowly
6) The cute & lovely display of playing with the shadows on the wall has become so horrible - he now CLAWS the wall SCRAPPING his nails across it - so I've got a receiving blanket there now to cover up the Claw Board
7) I believe I am Officially Sick of the Beatles CD

This may disappear soon

Pity? Your party of Resentment is here.

I’m surely not one of these women who thinks their husband’s shit don’t stink but I’m also not one of these wives who think they’d be better off without them. So with that said, I’d like to broach the topic of Resentment in the New Mother. Again, this has been going on for months, on & off, ebbing & flowing, for long periods of time & short bouts of pissy-ness but it’s getting to the point where I sometimes feel I don’t have the strength anymore to Do It All & not lose my ever-loving mind. I know I’m not alone in this & I know I wont always feel this way but it can be so overwhelming at times that I just cant see past it.

Like my Pity Party, my Resentment Party is NO reflection on my parenting or my husband’s parenting – it’s about us. Of course, Liam is involved but he is in no way the Source of any of this. I’ve tried to convince myself that this will wear off over time, that “things” will start to sink in & that he will come to realize the things he needs to in his own time and MAYBE that will still happen BUT it hasn’t in 6 months & I’m not sure where my “line in the sand” is drawn. But I do know I’m inching closer to it every day.

To put this simply: My life changed. Matias’ life changed. Our life changed. But so far, mine’s the only one LOOKING like it’s changed. I know he has the whole bread winning issue to deal with so let’s not assume I’ve forgotten or neglected to appreciate the effects that can have on someone. I KNOW I’m the SAHM, I KNOW this is my Job and my new Life but doesn’t his change also? Don’t the times of going to bed after 3am and sleeping past noon during the week vanish? Don’t the road trips to concerts and to hang with “the boys” stop once you have a baby waiting at home, missing you? Don’t the days where you get to nap 3 times DURING the day AFTER waking up at 1pm (ONE PM!) end because you have a little boy DYING for your attention? When do the days of RSVP’ing “no” to an All Night Party kick in? And I have to say that he is a wonderful father – he plays with him daily, makes him laugh just by coming into the room, puts him to bed every night, goes and gets him every morning and brings him to our bed – so please don’t think that this is any reflection on his or our parenting because it’s not & I don’t want it to come across that way. And also, I have no Life. I’m trying, I really am, but I find that I barely have the time – mothering is an all day event in this house since Liam’s naps are short and few – and that’s ok that’s what I signed up for but it leaves me with no time or energy to do more than try and connect through my writing and to reach out to people who aren’t psychically here (but I know would be in a heartbeat if it was possible).

When do *I* get to go away to a different city to party all night & sleep all day? When do *I* get to RSVP to a party and not have to worry about being home because I’m needed? When do *I* get to sleep in? When do *I* get to finish doing something I’ve started without it taking 3 days lapsing before that happens?

I have RSVP’ed YES to TWO Mom’s Night Out events this month & when I emailed him my ‘schedule’ he replied with “my wife has a life! YAY!”. Surprisingly, my response of “ha ha mother fucker, I haven’t been able to go out in 6 months because YOU always have something to do at those times” didn’t get a reply.

I just don’t get a break from mothering and housekeeping. And when he spends his time sleeping & dilly-dallying OUR time away during the day it leaves me with only After Bedtime hours to try and accomplish anything around the house and by the time that magic hour comes around I’m freaking exhausted and resentful & do NOT feel like lifting a finger to clean up after a man. It takes more time & energy to clean up after him than it does Liam – and that’s not ok with me. There’s a lack of appreciation and acknowledgment that brings me down and weighs heavily on me. And when that kicks in, I shut down and butt my Taurus horns against anything & everything to PROOF that I don’t have to do anything and so I don’t do a damn thing. And we all know where that leads – piles of laundry sitting to be put away that took you 3 days to finally get washed, a floor that is in dire need of a sweeping but honestly not wanting to work up the sweat that will incur in this god damn 70 degree WINTER, and Christmas decorations that need to be taken down before I just spray paint everything red and call them Valentine’s décor. I just cannot do it all on my own. And at the moment I have no calm & rational way of expressing this to him and so I don’t. And then we don’t talk & the resentment festers. I know I need to talk to him about this but isn’t SOME of this quite obvious? Isn’t the change in our lifestyles kind of a no brain-er? Isn’t the need for him to be more HERE during waking hours somewhat “no shit, Sherlock”ian? Isn’t me sitting here bitching about it not getting me anywhere but deeper into this depression?

I’ve become Mom & lost a lot of Jen in the process but it doesn’t appear to me that Matias has lost very much Matias that he has just gained Dad. And I do resent him for that & I do wish that could be me – without ever jeopardizing my Mom-ness. Some people would chalk this up to my resigning my job and staying home – but that’s not it – I’ve thought that through already. There is NO way I could wear both hats – I don’t have it in me, I don’t have the desire to do two things, possibly ½ assed, and work just isn’t worth it to me regardless of the ‘benefits’ – cause I just don’t see them. So with that said I do not envy his stressing over deadlines, or co-workers or commutes or anything else to do with work it’s the Lifestyle (bolded and with a capital L) changes that he refuses to accept that is just kicking me in the teeth.

When am I supposed to find the ability to BALANCE everything I want to and NEED to when he’s taking up all the time and energy that this household has to expend???

A Boy & his Remote

Update of sorts

Matias hasnt left for Philly yet - he said he had a lot of work to do before he left but he was done before Liam went to bed and then we had dinner & watched a movie so I'm not quite sure why he couldnt leave like he planned after putting Liam down for the night - but regardless he's still here & asleep so who knows when exactly he will leave! I'm not even sure he will still go considering it's 11am right now & was planning on meeting up with everyone for lunch and Philly is 3 hours away from us...

Makes me wonder if he kind of realized something - what that 'something' might be is undecided by me as of right now! Maybe he'll just leave later. He did ask me to wake him up when Liam when down for his nap & I did so...

Also Liam's sleeping is becoming more 'routine' but still evolving, I think. He has stopped (cross you fingers) waking up at 11pm - or at least he hasnt done it in about 4 days or so - ever since he just played with Neptune and went back to sleep - that was the last night he 'woke up' at that time. He shifted from waking around 2am for nursing to 3:30am to 4:20am -so I'm just going to keep tracking that night time feeding and see where we eventually end up. The last two days though he has been waking for the day at different times - yesterday it was 7:30am and today it was 8:30am (think he knows it is the weekend??) and he has been following his nap time routine of two hours after waking so...again I'll just be watching his wake up time & see what evolves from there! The past two days he hasnt woken up for a 6ish nursing so I'm pretty sure that the later (or earlier, however you want to look at it) feeding between 3-4 has been holding him over to a later wake up time...

I've scheduled his 6 Month photo session - I just cannot believe he is nearly SIX MONTHS OLD. I've got a strict budget & package that I have to stick to so I'm hoping they dont get too many adorable shots of him ;) I'm also trying to decide what he should wear - his Sunday Best or just a totally adorable little boy outfit? I'm sure I can take both BUT then that will hamper my "strict budget & package options" and the last thing I need is to generate more choices for myself! I think, and welcome to reading my Thought Process, that I might do his Sunday Best because we have those wonderful 5 Month pictures from Nate & those are in "cute little boy" clothes and then this way I will keep his Milestone Photos as "dressed up" to keep the same vibe to them all...

Matias made the silly (nice translation of "asinine") comment about how we didnt "really" need 6 Month pictures since "he hasnt changed that much". Let's overlook the obvious "silliness" of that comment and just focus on the fact that Liam CAN SIT UP ON HIS OWN NOW whereas before he would barely tolerate being on his stomach and had only laughed out loud ONCE before.

Speaking of "not changing" - his "vocabulary" is expanding DAILY! Now he says "ba" and I think I even heard a "da" out of him yesterday! This is in addition to "ma", "um", and a variation of "moo". He LOVES the remote control, and likes to hold the phone but doesnt really talk on it - I've got 100% boy here, folks.

I've also got someone who LOVES to put his feet in his mouth when he's eating...we havent put the tray on his highchair but I think that time has come - I was hoping to not have to do this until he was eating finger foods BUT I am not about to fight with him about no feet in the mouth or risk the bowl getting kicked out of my hands or the spoon lodged up his nose cause of those erratic feet of his.

We decided to wait until he finishes his stash of any new food until we start him on another one - ever since the bananas didnt quite go down and out they way we expected them too we've held off on introducing too many foods too quickly. At the moment he's eating squash, sweet potato, avocado & carrots. Once we finish the avocado (mainly used as a snack or filler food, not a Meal), I'm going to move onto apples & pears - which have already been prepared and are sitting frozen and labeled all ready for him. Then after his 6 month mark we'll be ready to move onto a new array of foods! Adding more veggies (think greens) and a few more fruits - even some proteins! AND SIPPY CUPS!! When on EARTH did he become big enough to drink from a damn sippy cup!?!?! The time, it does fly.

If you want to pee your pants a little

Or maybe just see an adorable little baby laugh his little fellow ass off to a Baby Einstein video then go here - www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

Happy Friday!

Alrighty then.

Yesterday was a tough day on Liam & me - he fought every nap, cried while playing with his toys, cried lying down, cried sitting up, fussed at nursing, but did well with his 'food' - just a tough day.

He went down for his last nap at 5:30pm and didnt wake up until 3:30am. WHAT? He went down in his clothes but thankfully I had nursed him (as much as he would 'allow') before his "nap". He did wake up around 10:30 but didnt utter a PEEP. It freaked us out because he just started playing with his Neptune music crib thingie and that's all we heard over the monitor! Not one sound - minus the 2 sneezes - out of him and then he went back to sleep after about a 1/2 hour. WEIRD. He did EXACTLY what we wanted him to do BUT we didnt get the chance to put him in PJs and he didnt 'request' any food...

Finally at 3:30am he wakes up, nurses and goes back to sleep until 6:20 (UGH), or as I like to call it O'dark thirty. And then he was UP cause jesus, he'd had over 12 hours of sleep! I got in the shower after nursing him & left him with Daddy, fixed some coffee and then he was downstairs after "asking for" me (rolls eyes). We had stretch time & cereal (double serving) and then some avocado cause he was still asking for more UM UM...

And now he's napping (or noni as we say in our casa) - let's see how long that lasts for! Matias put him down so I'm not positive what time he went down actually...

Let's hope today is not a repeat of yesterday - it was hard on him to be so unsettled about every single thing he did (and let's not lie here, it was hard on me too). Yesterday was a total Woe is Me Day. Matias has been working somewhat "regular" hours lately too so not only do I have a whole weekend with just Liam & myself but I've been solo from waking till after bedtime for the past two days. And that is unusual for us - I usually get to clock out around 6:30PM and then just take care of his (Liam's) dinner and I can get various 'breaks' throughout the day if Matias is working from home, but those dont normally extend past doing the dishes without Liam in the same room, or taking a shower without rushing through it all...so this non-stop business has been tough & I'm wondering if he also misses his little chance times with Daddy throughout the day and at night...

babblebabblebabbleblah.

Liam's new little friend

I have TOTALLY not posted about this - mainly because I was wrapped up in Christmas stuff (no pun intended) but also because I havent had the time to sit down & write about it BUT on our way up to AoE we stopped off at the Tiltons! We spent the night & the two little ones got to play together :) Olivia is a year and 5 days older than Liam so it was really cute and neat to watch them interact and get along. She is a really Sweet little girl, with a capital S. And holy cow, the vocabulary on this one is amazing - I'm so impressed with her and how well she talks and finds everything on a book page and tells you exactly what it is! She's got her mother's smile and Nate's cheeks & eyes and this blond blond shock of hair that curls _justso_ - she's adorable & smart & friendly! We had a great time catching up & comparing notes (mainly about sleep issues) and just sitting back watching them play. It was a great way to break up the sometimes 7 hour drive and also a great excuse to get off the road and take a break! (and of course delay our arrival and time...)

Uncle Nate with his laughing Liam Fellow! We had such a great time visiting with them & more than once did we kind of just look at each other and comment "wow, who ever thought we'd be sitting here on Christmas Eve introducing our kids to each other?"

Nate also took a FANTASTIC series of portrait shots of Liam in his little private studio but, honestly, choosing a favorite few has been difficult so maybe I'll just quickly find one...

We'll be picking a few of these from the range of poses to get printed out and Nate even offered to "edit" them in his professional photographer way and we will consider these his 5 Month Pictures :)

Home Alone!

So who wants to come over this weekend? Matias is going to Philly for the weekend, leaving after Liam goes down to sleep on Friday night & coming back before noon (yeah right) on Sunday. He's going to see his friend's band play (Popejoy Trio) and to visit with some friends who are coming into town for the show.

It's my FIRST time alone with Liam for THAT much time & I'm a little nervous about how TIRED I will be. I have spent good batches of time alone with Liam BUT I have NEVER spent TWO sleeps with him alone & that makes me nervous. It's going to throw our routine off & I just hope I'm up for it - hopefully he proves me wrong and is the perfect little Fellow for Mommy. I'm not used to having NO Mommy Time at all during the day OR night!

And I will be PMS'ing. LOVELY.

So if anyone wants to visit we have a guest room with your name written all over it. Try me, I'm not kidding.

Good morning, Good morning!

Little booger was up at 6:20 for a nursing sess and didnt go back down to sleep. Ate his cereal at 8:30 and practically fell asleep in it and then took about a 20 minute nap! Here he is in all his morning glory trying to get the camera lens cap (his new favorite pastime) - please notice that there's NO SUN streaming through the windows/drapes BECAUSE IT ISNT UP YET!

Upload!

I uploaded a few videos and quite a few pictures (more like a couple "series") to dropshots...remember copy and paste this link cause blogger sucks!

www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

Old McDonald!

Liam playing in the middle of the floor with his new Old McDonald Farm and LOVING life!


And on this farm he had a cat!

It's Officially Official

[This is the email I sent around a few weeks ago when I let my manager and HR dept. at HQ know about my departure. I thought it would be fitting to post it here on the day I was to return to work. I still havent heard from my manager but HR has been proceeding with discontinuing my benefits (as soon as they receive the letter from Matias' HR about insurance coverage) so I think it's safe to post this now, especially since I didnt show up at work today!]

I'm now a SAHM! For those of you not "in the know" that means Stay At Home Mom - EEK!!!

I officially resigned from my job yesterday but since my manager was out of the office and going on vacation, I have not heard from her (nor am I sure I will hear from her right away) but I have notified HR in Vancouver also. I haven't posted this information anywhere since my manager hasn't responded and some of my co-workers found my Bebe blog and I don't want it getting around before my manager has a chance to address it.

I planned to do it a little earlier in the month but when I went to visit the offices with Liam, I was regaled with stories of how HORRIBLE my temp was and I totally chickened out from telling them on the spot. It's a little difficult for me to be all "hey, I'm leaving, sorry this chick sucks and you cannot wait for me to return cause, hmm, that wont be happening!" so I didn't. I'm a big chicken & I'm fine with that.

This is all scary and exciting at the same time as you can imagine...I NEVER dreamed I would be a SAHM but this is what I WANT to do, I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my time & energy (mainly because I don't have any energy left to do anything with!) & I am so thrilled to be able to do this FOR Liam. He's my world & I'm his mother & I've chosen to stay home with him and be everything he needs (please do NOT take this as a knock at mothers who work, it's not, I promise) while I can. I may not always stay home, but right now, we can afford it & I REALLY want to!

For anyone who has been in this position, you know how big of an adjustment this is & I dont know what kind of rushed decision I would have made if I only had 6 or 12 weeks of Maternity Leave because let us not forget that I am STILL on Maternity Leave - my return date wasnt until Jan. 8th! So thankfully, I feel like I have somewhat eased myself into this new role & I have come to terms with any issues I might have struggled with. PLUS, I'm doing my Creative Memories work so it's not like I "don't work" or earn any money for the household - which is where most of my "issues" lie.

Anyway...as of right now, I'm officially resigned from my job at the Canadian Tourism Commission, a job I absolutely loved & have officially taken on the new role of Full Time Mommy!! Send cookies & emails often, I respond enthusiastically to both equally :)

Favorite Picture from the weekend

We went and "watched" Daddy play soccer during the 70 degree weather on Saturday afternoon and I took his soccer ball, some books and toys along with this blanket we got for just this sort of thing (thankfully it is water resistant because it rained the day before and mud was EVERYWHERE) and we played on the blanket for about an hour just basking in the sun and letting the wind play with our hair.

Typical Man

Just like a typical man, Liam has started to take his poops regularly in his Office. I wouldnt be shocked if next he started asking for some reading materials too.

Happy 5 Month Old – 2 weeks late!

Well what another BUSY month for Liam!

I just reread what I wrote for his 4 Month Birthday post & tried to make a list of everything he’s accomplished since then and WOW there’s a TON OF STUFF!

My mom has noticed that I don’t call him “my baby” very often that normally I call him “my big boy” – it’s not that he isn’t my “baby” anymore, it’s just that he looks and acts like such a Big Boy that I cannot help it! It actually seems like he is maturing before my very eyes & if I take my eyes off of him for too long I will miss something. I know that this is actually how growing up works but it’s amazing to me everyday when I see it happening. And then I wonder where the time has gone & just how soon he will be crawling. Cause, yes, folks, he has started to think about it and even went as far last night to PULL HIMSELF towards a book that was out of his reach. But enough of what’s happening right now, let’s get on with the 5 Month Gush Fest (I’m planning on trademarking that soon!), shall we?

Liam spent a lot of time with family again this past month – with a trip to Carolina by train (he’s second) to celebrate Christmas and go visit Santa and have brunch at the Capital Club in Raleigh, a trip to CT for Christmas with the Ninos, and then Grandma & Grandpa came to VA to babysit and use our Anniversary as an excuse to visit the Liam Robert again. He met a lot of milestones this past month also, some he has totally mastered ahead of “schedule” and some he’s just_about_there on!

On December 11^th, he rolled over from his tummy to his back!! YAY!! Now he rolls all over the place, reaching and grabbing for his toys and kitties that always seem to be just out of reach. He has learned to tolerate tummy time much better seeing as he knows he can accomplish something when he does it. Before it was just like Torture Time because he couldn’t DO anything but now that he’s DOING something he’s all about it – even flipping himself over to spend some time exploring his new world on his tum.

We started him on solids at the beginning of December after not wanting to wait to see the doctor and we made the right decision for him. He’s weighing in a little under average and wasn’t getting enough good stuff from only Pimp Juice but with the cereal he really started to fill out. The doctor was pleased with his weight gain, which also put him in another size diaper (size two now!). He started to really out grow his 3-6 month clothes at that point – his pants had become little waders! I started making him home made baby food about a week later (mid-December)_starting him off with Sweet Potato and then moving onto Butternut Squash when he had passed the Three Day Rule test. He LOVES eating like a Big Boy. He LOVES being in his high chair. He really takes his time tasting the textures of the new foods and his facial expressions show it all. Carrots were introduced next & those are by far his favorite veggie!

Liam LOVES the train – he’s such a good boy while we are traveling. Eating and napping on schedule & spending the rest of his time just looking out the window watching the world pass him by. He spent most of the time in Daddy’s lap since we had just gotten colds that morning & Mommy wasn’t feeling all that well. He read books & played with his toys and even ate his cereal!

We had such a fantastic time in Carolina – Liam was spoiled with love and kisses and hugs and Santa came early too! He was such a CHAMP about his cold too, his first one, not much complaining or fussing just went on about his business like normal. He LOVED all his toys and goodies that Grandma, Grandpa & Auntie Leanne gave to him! He LOVED unwrapping the presents too! Always interested in what is going on around him and wanting to be a part of it. He got two new favorite toys – the Fisher Price Old McDonald farm & the Fisher Price Singing Animal Train with some extra monkeys (cause doesn’t everyone need extra monkeys?). The blocks with the farm are still a little big for him to grasp with both hands but he knows what he WANTS to do with them just needs a little help getting there. He enjoys playing with his train animals and discovering what sound each animal makes and giggling after he accomplishes that! His new favorite book was from his Great Grandma & Great Auntie – it’s a French book with places for us to put our own pictures, it’s a soft cloth book which is perfect for sucking on and waving around and every time we read it to him he just lights up. Auntie got him a fishbowl to dump out its occupants and then place back in and he would much rather dump and place them right into his mouth! Somehow there’s a lot more PICKING UP for Mommy to do around the house these days! Liam was a prefect Fellow when we went to meet Santa – I had such a great time taking him out all dressed up in his “Sunday Best” and letting him meet Santa! This Santa was fantastic too – he talked to him for a really long time & told him all about Santa and Christmas and he used a nice mix of religious and non-religious statements to get across the Meaning of the Season!

He is successfully GRABBING things from a distance by leaning forward from a sitting position or rolling over to get it. He doesn’t drop it after that though but manages to hold onto his possession and plays with it. His main source of this fun is his chupie. He waves that thing around like he’s conducting some baby orchestra! And then when he drops it (I think on purpose ½ the time) he goes Chupie Diving for it! Sometimes using his mouth to pick it up and then sometimes using his hands to get it back into position.

I estimated that he would become an Unassisted Sitter over the holidays sometime & I wasn’t mistaken! Our Little Liam Fellow is now Officially an Unassisted Sitter!! WOW!! We spend a lot of time on the floor playing while sitting up, reading books while sitting up, playing with his soccer balls and waving his rattles and chupies in the air. Now he has added the “lean forward” motion to his sitting activities and will lean until he gets what he wants and then sit back up – the fall backwards/sideways rate on this isn’t very high at all.

He also discovered shadows and sun beams last month! When we dance in his room he started staring at the walls & Mommy, a bit late on this tip, discovered that he was watching us dance in the shadow cast by his night light or the hall light. He will hold his arm up while on the changing table & watch his shadow move across the wall if the lighting is right. And watching him play with the sun beams is just too adorable for me. He lifts up his hand and waves it through the light, casting new shadows on his arm or body or even across me and he watches the movement of the beams as they dance and change across us both. There’s so many great and wonderful new things that he is accomplishing but I think this is my favorite thing he’s discovered this month. It’s just so sweet to watch him dabble in the sun & figure out with awe what’s going on and he’s SO happy while he’s doing it. It just melts my heart. He’s always like “Look Mom! Did you SEE THAT?? Watch, watch, watch, I’ll do it again!”

Liam recognized that Beatles song used on the Macy*s holiday commercial and would strain his little neck around so he could catch a glimpse of it every time it came on. He also looks at me every time a train passes through town blowing its whistle – knowing that it’s a train like we’ve been on and taught him the sound for. He LOVES and INSISTS that we all sing along to Old McDonald had a Farm EACH and EVERY TIME he whacks it on his Office & new toy! His whole face just lights up.

Every morning when he wakes up, Liam is just the Happiest Baby Ever. I’m not kidding. The smiles and reaching up for us is just out of this world. The hugs and kisses are getting bigger and sloppier daily too! He’s simply just the Bestest Little Big Boy in VA.

I could literally go on and on about how wonderful and special and smart and amazing Liam Robert is but I think at some point I’m going to on Liam Sugary Goodness Overload and just turn into a puddle of love for this kid, my little Big Boy. His heart is so kind and open and his mind is so alert and focused and his little body is figuring out how to keep up with it all!

So Happy 5 Month Birthday, Liam Liam Robert (as I’m known to call him) Mommy loves you more than those words even suffice. And as Daddy said on NYE, 2006 was the Year of the Liam and I couldn’t agree more.

Self Soothing

We are attempting to teach Liam how to "self sooth" himself to sleep/back to sleep with his Neptune crib thing...attempt is the operative word here.

He's in his crib right now, tired & full of cereal, playing away. He's not crying or fussing just talking/screeching but not "soothing" himself in the least.

I plan on just leaving him there until he actually cries but I think that just happened. He lasted about 10 minutes before crying...I went up and did the Beatles Bounce with him and now it just seems like he wants to play even though he's totally ready for a nap. I gave him to Daddy, who of course, is still in bed. He'll just nap with him in bed for now.

Any suggestions or hints? We dont want to do Cry It Out since he doesnt cry to begin with why have him start doing something like that? And plus, I cannot stand the sound of a crying baby.

I asked Matias to look into the different sleep techniques but he didnt do anything but agree to not let him CIO so I think it's time we revisited that subject.

I asked nicely :(

PLEASE! NO! MORE! BANANAS!

Stop the HORROR!

No! MORE! BANANAS!!

Liam opening stocking

Grandma got him his First Stocking with his name on it - this is Daddy reading him the Velveteen Rabbit book that Santa brought him.

(3rd) Christmas at home

Liam "reading" his Old McDonald book with finger puppets - most of these pictures have Liam EATING his wrapping paper - his favorite part of opening gifts!

Liam & Luccia

Christmas morning at the Ninos with his cousin Luccia who is two weeks younger and about 15 lbs. heavier than the Fellow ;)

Liam opening gift

Liam opening his IKEA penguin sippy cup at the Ninos (Mommy is drunk at this point & please also note that it's probably 3am)

Christmas Eve at the Ninos

Getting ready for Estelle's Christmas Eve Party & going to Mass. His mother made Liam that little jumper and Luccia had a matching dress also.

Christmas in Carolina

We dont have very many pictures at all from our camera but here is one of us opening our Stocking Stuffers - actually he's playing with Daddy's M&Ms!

List o’ Things I’ve Been Doing Instead of Blogging

1) Making baby food – 2^nd batch of carrots, a HUGE batch of Squash, Pears & Avocado. The bananas didn’t go over too well on the little fellow’s stummy so we are holding off on those for a bit

2) Cleaning out Liam’s dresser – moving his too small & too non-winter clothes to make room for all the yummy Christmas presents & Post Christmas Outlet shopping sales

3) Doing probably 4 loads of laundry of just Liam clothes

4) Attempting to get over my cold while holding off another one

5) Buying a dehumidifier

6) Staring at piles of stuff to put away in my room while looking for a burp rag so that I can wipe the snot off my screaming child’s face

7) Realizing that Liam’s first word is UM UM – our word for food. Yes, our kid’s first word is “more food please!”

8) Recovering from NYE at the Tavern (YAY! For the Tavern – not the hangover)

9) Surviving AoE

10) Telling Matias to tell the Pain in the Ass to find some fucking boundaries already before I do it myself

11) Getting drunk for Mass

12) Taking LOTS of naps (mostly during Christmas trip but also during Operation Recover from Hangover & Stave Off Second Cold)

13) Thinking about all the pictures I have to go through & post to show y’all what a wonderful Christmas Liam had

14) Try to work up the nerve to watch the videos from NYE

15) Wondering how long I can leave the tree up and thinking I can postpone it if I don’t actually turn the lights on

16) Sit in amazement as I watch Liam sitting up UNASSISTED