There’s a 6 Month Old in my bed

As I started to think about what I was going to write about for Liam’s 6 Month Old GushFest, I figured I might be ready to tell the gory details of his “birth story” but since that took over 15 hours to happen, I’m not quite sure how long it’s going to take me to write about it because every single detail is still clear in my head, minus the gibberish I was screaming through the pain, but I think it’s a good time to commemorate that event! It’s hard for me to believe that he is 6 months old already and that truly, the time has passed so quickly and yet so slowly as if allowing me to remember and soak up everything that has happened.

6 months ago, at 12:20AM TWO doctors struggled to unhinge our Bebe, sex still unknown, from my ribcage – under which he had firmly planted his feet and was NOT coming out. It took TWO doctors because my doctor’s hands were too large to fit all up in there and unhook him alone, so in went another set of hands. It was at this point that Matias calmly looked over the draping and turned to me and said “your liver is on your chest”, it was that point that I turned my head and puked. They claim you feel “tugging & pulling” when they perform a c-section but I simply had never experienced “tugging & pulling” like that before in my life – I suppose that’s what happens when your little one decides to swing from your ribcage with his feet firmly planted underneath your ribs. Unfortunately that wasn’t the sole reason for the c-section – Bebe’s head was pushing against my cervix with no where to go – Bebe was NOT coming out the traditional way REGARDLESS of how much pushing (45 minutes) I did or how many drugs (2 drugs, administered twice since I broke through the pain at one point) simply because his head was NEVER going to fit through. So there he dangled, suspended by my ribs with his head firmly planted in the ready to come out position. For 15 hours.

I made it until about noon before getting the epidural and that was way longer than any nurses (God Bless Teresa) and my mother had felt necessary but we wanted to give it the old college try. They argued that if I wanted to have the energy to push when the time came that I needed to save what I could & hurry up and get the damn drugs. It was at that point, while screaming & crying through the pain that I tried to explain to Matias that it wasn’t muscular contractions that were hurting me and making me scream “good lord do something to make this pain go away” that it was his head slamming repeatedly into my BONES and radiating down my cervix, into my hips and down my legs. THIS was something different and unexpected. And good fucking lord, the pain. I needed the drugs badly. I was experiencing contractions about every 30 seconds and each one had me crawling up the bed, trying to release myself from the pain that was coming from Down There. Numerous times, my mom had to leave the room because she couldn’t stand to see me in such pain & numerous times the nurses kept asking me if I wanted the drugs yet. Finally, when I agreed, the procedure to administer the drug was a mountain of intensity that required all my attention & focus – something that was a bit hard to do with contractions bearing down on me and having to be in a seated position and waiting for them to stick a needle in my back without me moving unless I wanted to cause serious damage to myself. They had to give me the drugs during a contraction because there was NO downtime to slip it in between. Then bliss was upon me. I passed the fuck out. For hours. And I continued to dilate through my haze. And the nurses called me a lightweight. And then I broke through the epidural and screamed so loudly that I scared my father off who had finally worked up the “courage” to come see me. He heard me screaming down the hall & decided that it was NOT a good time to visit. I threw up popsicles – red and blue ones. I had to go Number 2 and couldn’t go the bathroom to use it so the doctors had to help me, in bed, go to the bathroom. I was sweating, I was cold, I was screaming for Matias to turn up the temperature in the room. All the while DMB was playing on our stereo – we brought all 4 nights of Red Rocks with us. I remember screaming at him to turn Jimi Thing off cause I was sick and tired of that jam. Then when that run was over, we put on Before These Crowded Streets and that repeated about 4 times before we brought it into the operating room with us. Periodically, I would ask for the music to be turned up. Sometimes I would request shows that he didn’t bring with him. Who goes to the hospital on 7.19 and DOESN’T BRING 7.19 WITH THEM? My mom offered to come home and get it and while I tried to explain that she’d never understand how to burn .shn files from a .shn audio library, I just gave up and cursed Matias for forgetting my Grey Street.

They woke me up to tell me I was at 10 cm & we were going to start pushing but if that didn’t work in under an hour we were going to go to surgery. The Bebe’s heartbeat was starting to dip & the stress of being SLAMMED up against my cervix was started to wear on the little one. They had to dial down my drugs for me to even understand that I was pushing so I started to feel the pain radiating through my bones again. Let me stress here that the pain of bone upon bone INSIDE your body is not the same pain as muscle contractions. I SWEAR I could handle the muscle contractions. So we started pushing & I looked at the clock & asked if we could get this over with before the days’ end – we wanted a 7.19 bebe and that was NOT going to happen. I pushed and he didn’t budge – not one inch – he had no where to go. They warned about having a big baby – over 9 lbs they guessed with a head to match. I got scared at that point, I’m not sure why at THAT point because we knew he was coming via c-section so I didn’t have to birth a 9 pounder but I think it set in that I would be bringing home a LARGE baby. I remember looking at my mom & Matias with a look of shock on my face – 9 pounds?!?! – When did that happen!?!? We started to prepare for surgery which means in our book – ask if we can play music in the operating room and grab the CD. I did NOT enjoy being on the gurney and being wheeled down to the room, I started getting nervous then also. Matias had disappeared & I kept calling for him but no one could find him – turns out he was looking for a CD player to bring with us. But he almost missed it all. He finally “scrubbed in” and we were off. “Tugging & pulling” lasted for about 20 minutes and it’s the most disgusting sensation I have ever experienced. I did not enjoy having TWO sets of hands “all up in me”.

Finally the person who gives you the drugs (cannot spell that word for the life of me) was directing Matias to peek over the drapes & actually had to FORCE me to look – she pulled down the drape and psychically LIFTED my head up so I COULD WATCH MY BEBE BEING BORN. I fought her on doing that cause I was somewhat freaking out & didn’t want to see my “liver on my chest” but I am SO GLAD she insisted. We both got to see the birth of our bebe. And it wasn’t as messy as I thought, and he wasn’t covered in goo or blood and I screamed “don’t tell me what it is, let my husband tell me!” Matias leaned over and said “it’s a boy and he looks just like you!” and they couldn’t bring him to me quick enough. We had our Liam Robert, just like I knew we would. And they gave him to Matias & he cut the cord, he brought him to me and we just greeted him & stroked his tiny little (non 9 pound) face and sat in awe and wonder of his perfection (which I still do on a daily basis). 10 fingers, 10 toes, brown hair, wide open brown eyes and gangly little frog legs and flaying little arms. And he was here. And I puked. And then I passed out.

I woke up in our recovery room to Matias urging me awake to feed Liam or else they’d have to give him the bottle – it was now after 2am – and he was hungry. So drugged and unsure of what I was doing I brought Liam to my breast, this being the first real time I held him, and nursed my precious baby boy. He slept with me the rest of the night, only leaving my side to be with his Daddy.

I was pretty well medicated throughout my stay so some details feel like a possible dream instead of reality and I still often ask “did that really happen or was that just the meds talking?”. My family was there, including my niece and nephew, and our room was full from the start of visiting hours well past the end of visiting hours. Liam only left our room to be checked out by the doctors and even then we went searching after him when we felt he had been gone too long. We had music playing constantly in our room for him & more than one nurse noted how good that was for him & how wonderful it was we were doing that for him. Matias had his laptop & when I could manage to get out of bed to walk around or use the facilities I would hop online to check our emails of well wishes. And I realized I wasn’t scared or nervous or doubting myself & my abilities. I realized that this shit REALLY DOES kick in when needed. I knew I wouldn’t drop him, I knew I wouldn’t hurt his tiny little body, I knew I was changing the diaper properly & I knew that he wouldn’t burp lying on his stomach over my shoulder. Seriously, a Mother REALLY Does Know These Things. And I realized; I could do this. And I suppose that really isn’t the best time to realize that but the confidence just comes & you know what needs to be done & how to do it. I may never have felt my clock ticking but you certainly do not miss the sensation of Becoming a Mother – it just washes over you like a gentle wave of understanding & you just start co-existing with your little Bebe in your new little world. Suzanne said something to me a few weeks later when she was over for a BBQ that has stuck with me because I believe it to be true – you are not given a baby that isn’t perfect for you. I might have gone through just about every complication in the book, felt pain like never imagined & still REMEMBER, and talked in tongues to get Liam but he is the baby we were meant to have and every day that is as clear as daylight to me.

Everyday I’m amazed at how clearly he is our child. From the way he wrinkles his nose when he smiles, to the eye scrunching he does when he’s thinking about something, to the crooked smiles he gives the cats every time he sees them – he is the perfect combination, if I do say so myself, of Matias & me. He thinks like his Daddy – takes him time analyzing the task ahead of him, mentally dissecting it until he knows how it works and then making it work on his own. He knows how to make his farm play Old MacDonald by pulling down on the blue door and he knows to make his train go by hitting the smoke stack. He knows these things because he watched and learned not because he randomly hit upon it in his bashing around of his toys. He knows that Ramon, the Penguin from Happy Feet, will talk to him if he talks first. And he knows that he needs to go to sleep when Love Me Do is playing.

His level of understanding the cause & effect of his actions amazes me. And it’s not simply because he is the most brilliant boy that ever was either! He just GETS it. Poor boy though, he simply does NOT get this teething thing though & the frustration is evident. I’m sure as soon as the tooth comes in; he’ll be all “so THAT’S what all this fuss was about!” and move along his merry way. So much of child-raising to this point has been more about giving him the right tools and developmental abilities that enables his natural abilities to come forth more than TEACHING him how to do these things. I never want to lose the ability to SEE in my child the things he is capable of & knowing exactly how to foster that growth that lies naturally within him. To say children “blossom” is not a misnomer – it is evolution. And I don’t think it surprises me that Matias turned to me the other night and said “biology is my new thing, I’m really into learning about biology” and I just said “I know” – I can see the wonderment in him too. The need to understand how this happens and why & how to deconstruct it until he understands it; starting from Square One & in his quest to understand “the evolution of gender”, he will discover the wonderment of Liam. What I call it is “the miracle of life”.

Liam is my little star that was always there in the sky waiting to be captured and brought to us. He was plucked right from the celestial heavens, after waiting for his time to come and given to us to nurture and send back into the universe. He is my Star of Wonder. He is strong, eternal & his soul shines so brightly that his greatness is visible to the naked eye. I hope that I can foster that greatness so that others can share in it. Cause let me tell you, there is nothing in this world like a Liam Fellow. I’m so proud to call myself his Mother.

More Shots Dropped

I've uploaded a bunch of Liam eating new foods photos and some Liam cooking with Daddy pictures and videos :)

www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

Feel free to comment there so I dont have to constantly see the "thank god he looks like matias" comment from the PitA - HA! PITA!

Impending teeth

Matias turned to me last night & said "I cannot picture him with TEETH" and neither can I! I just cannot imagine what he will look like with a little tooth popping up!!

He wants to inject him with some magical hormone that keeps him a baby ;) I simply replied that he's doing exactly what he's supposed to do, grow up before our very eyes.

Bizarre, though.

Bangs head

We have created a little Beatles monster. I've tried the past couple days to put him down for his naps with various other CDs of nice, mellow music that he likes and he will fight the nap. Toss in Beatles and he's OUT BEFORE THE FIRST SONG IS OVER.

*sigh* It wouldn't be bad if we didn't hear it over the monitor (ha! I typed momitor!) for the entire time.

People, it's started again

I NEED THESE!!!

http://www.laurengdesigns.com/shop.asp?action=cat&catID=10635&parentCatID=7331

Guess which ones I want. I have two in mind. In my crazy, crazy mind. GOOD LORD I WANT PERSONALIZED NOTECARDS FOR LIAM SO BAD I CAN TASTE IT!!!

Mundane Update

Couple things that are rather mundane but milestones nonetheless!

1) Liam is now in Size 3 diapers (Target brand starts size 3 at 16 lbs.)
2) We'veI've introduced Pears into his lunch & he seems to like them. They seem to be a little on the thin side, so next time I'll just cut back on the amount of water I use to puree them
3) He has stopped waking up at 11pm (crosses fingers against jinxing myself) & last night didnt wake up at 3:30ish and slept until 7:30! I dont mind the middle of the night feeding really though (and neither does the boob) but I'm all about him dropping that 11pm business.
4) We go for our 6 Month Pictures today
5) He's losing interest in his Stretch/Gym Time in the morning...must find something else for him to do that doesnt involve too much stimulation & allows him to stretch and wake up nice & slowly
6) The cute & lovely display of playing with the shadows on the wall has become so horrible - he now CLAWS the wall SCRAPPING his nails across it - so I've got a receiving blanket there now to cover up the Claw Board
7) I believe I am Officially Sick of the Beatles CD

This may disappear soon

Pity? Your party of Resentment is here.

I’m surely not one of these women who thinks their husband’s shit don’t stink but I’m also not one of these wives who think they’d be better off without them. So with that said, I’d like to broach the topic of Resentment in the New Mother. Again, this has been going on for months, on & off, ebbing & flowing, for long periods of time & short bouts of pissy-ness but it’s getting to the point where I sometimes feel I don’t have the strength anymore to Do It All & not lose my ever-loving mind. I know I’m not alone in this & I know I wont always feel this way but it can be so overwhelming at times that I just cant see past it.

Like my Pity Party, my Resentment Party is NO reflection on my parenting or my husband’s parenting – it’s about us. Of course, Liam is involved but he is in no way the Source of any of this. I’ve tried to convince myself that this will wear off over time, that “things” will start to sink in & that he will come to realize the things he needs to in his own time and MAYBE that will still happen BUT it hasn’t in 6 months & I’m not sure where my “line in the sand” is drawn. But I do know I’m inching closer to it every day.

To put this simply: My life changed. Matias’ life changed. Our life changed. But so far, mine’s the only one LOOKING like it’s changed. I know he has the whole bread winning issue to deal with so let’s not assume I’ve forgotten or neglected to appreciate the effects that can have on someone. I KNOW I’m the SAHM, I KNOW this is my Job and my new Life but doesn’t his change also? Don’t the times of going to bed after 3am and sleeping past noon during the week vanish? Don’t the road trips to concerts and to hang with “the boys” stop once you have a baby waiting at home, missing you? Don’t the days where you get to nap 3 times DURING the day AFTER waking up at 1pm (ONE PM!) end because you have a little boy DYING for your attention? When do the days of RSVP’ing “no” to an All Night Party kick in? And I have to say that he is a wonderful father – he plays with him daily, makes him laugh just by coming into the room, puts him to bed every night, goes and gets him every morning and brings him to our bed – so please don’t think that this is any reflection on his or our parenting because it’s not & I don’t want it to come across that way. And also, I have no Life. I’m trying, I really am, but I find that I barely have the time – mothering is an all day event in this house since Liam’s naps are short and few – and that’s ok that’s what I signed up for but it leaves me with no time or energy to do more than try and connect through my writing and to reach out to people who aren’t psychically here (but I know would be in a heartbeat if it was possible).

When do *I* get to go away to a different city to party all night & sleep all day? When do *I* get to RSVP to a party and not have to worry about being home because I’m needed? When do *I* get to sleep in? When do *I* get to finish doing something I’ve started without it taking 3 days lapsing before that happens?

I have RSVP’ed YES to TWO Mom’s Night Out events this month & when I emailed him my ‘schedule’ he replied with “my wife has a life! YAY!”. Surprisingly, my response of “ha ha mother fucker, I haven’t been able to go out in 6 months because YOU always have something to do at those times” didn’t get a reply.

I just don’t get a break from mothering and housekeeping. And when he spends his time sleeping & dilly-dallying OUR time away during the day it leaves me with only After Bedtime hours to try and accomplish anything around the house and by the time that magic hour comes around I’m freaking exhausted and resentful & do NOT feel like lifting a finger to clean up after a man. It takes more time & energy to clean up after him than it does Liam – and that’s not ok with me. There’s a lack of appreciation and acknowledgment that brings me down and weighs heavily on me. And when that kicks in, I shut down and butt my Taurus horns against anything & everything to PROOF that I don’t have to do anything and so I don’t do a damn thing. And we all know where that leads – piles of laundry sitting to be put away that took you 3 days to finally get washed, a floor that is in dire need of a sweeping but honestly not wanting to work up the sweat that will incur in this god damn 70 degree WINTER, and Christmas decorations that need to be taken down before I just spray paint everything red and call them Valentine’s décor. I just cannot do it all on my own. And at the moment I have no calm & rational way of expressing this to him and so I don’t. And then we don’t talk & the resentment festers. I know I need to talk to him about this but isn’t SOME of this quite obvious? Isn’t the change in our lifestyles kind of a no brain-er? Isn’t the need for him to be more HERE during waking hours somewhat “no shit, Sherlock”ian? Isn’t me sitting here bitching about it not getting me anywhere but deeper into this depression?

I’ve become Mom & lost a lot of Jen in the process but it doesn’t appear to me that Matias has lost very much Matias that he has just gained Dad. And I do resent him for that & I do wish that could be me – without ever jeopardizing my Mom-ness. Some people would chalk this up to my resigning my job and staying home – but that’s not it – I’ve thought that through already. There is NO way I could wear both hats – I don’t have it in me, I don’t have the desire to do two things, possibly ½ assed, and work just isn’t worth it to me regardless of the ‘benefits’ – cause I just don’t see them. So with that said I do not envy his stressing over deadlines, or co-workers or commutes or anything else to do with work it’s the Lifestyle (bolded and with a capital L) changes that he refuses to accept that is just kicking me in the teeth.

When am I supposed to find the ability to BALANCE everything I want to and NEED to when he’s taking up all the time and energy that this household has to expend???

A Boy & his Remote

Update of sorts

Matias hasnt left for Philly yet - he said he had a lot of work to do before he left but he was done before Liam went to bed and then we had dinner & watched a movie so I'm not quite sure why he couldnt leave like he planned after putting Liam down for the night - but regardless he's still here & asleep so who knows when exactly he will leave! I'm not even sure he will still go considering it's 11am right now & was planning on meeting up with everyone for lunch and Philly is 3 hours away from us...

Makes me wonder if he kind of realized something - what that 'something' might be is undecided by me as of right now! Maybe he'll just leave later. He did ask me to wake him up when Liam when down for his nap & I did so...

Also Liam's sleeping is becoming more 'routine' but still evolving, I think. He has stopped (cross you fingers) waking up at 11pm - or at least he hasnt done it in about 4 days or so - ever since he just played with Neptune and went back to sleep - that was the last night he 'woke up' at that time. He shifted from waking around 2am for nursing to 3:30am to 4:20am -so I'm just going to keep tracking that night time feeding and see where we eventually end up. The last two days though he has been waking for the day at different times - yesterday it was 7:30am and today it was 8:30am (think he knows it is the weekend??) and he has been following his nap time routine of two hours after waking so...again I'll just be watching his wake up time & see what evolves from there! The past two days he hasnt woken up for a 6ish nursing so I'm pretty sure that the later (or earlier, however you want to look at it) feeding between 3-4 has been holding him over to a later wake up time...

I've scheduled his 6 Month photo session - I just cannot believe he is nearly SIX MONTHS OLD. I've got a strict budget & package that I have to stick to so I'm hoping they dont get too many adorable shots of him ;) I'm also trying to decide what he should wear - his Sunday Best or just a totally adorable little boy outfit? I'm sure I can take both BUT then that will hamper my "strict budget & package options" and the last thing I need is to generate more choices for myself! I think, and welcome to reading my Thought Process, that I might do his Sunday Best because we have those wonderful 5 Month pictures from Nate & those are in "cute little boy" clothes and then this way I will keep his Milestone Photos as "dressed up" to keep the same vibe to them all...

Matias made the silly (nice translation of "asinine") comment about how we didnt "really" need 6 Month pictures since "he hasnt changed that much". Let's overlook the obvious "silliness" of that comment and just focus on the fact that Liam CAN SIT UP ON HIS OWN NOW whereas before he would barely tolerate being on his stomach and had only laughed out loud ONCE before.

Speaking of "not changing" - his "vocabulary" is expanding DAILY! Now he says "ba" and I think I even heard a "da" out of him yesterday! This is in addition to "ma", "um", and a variation of "moo". He LOVES the remote control, and likes to hold the phone but doesnt really talk on it - I've got 100% boy here, folks.

I've also got someone who LOVES to put his feet in his mouth when he's eating...we havent put the tray on his highchair but I think that time has come - I was hoping to not have to do this until he was eating finger foods BUT I am not about to fight with him about no feet in the mouth or risk the bowl getting kicked out of my hands or the spoon lodged up his nose cause of those erratic feet of his.

We decided to wait until he finishes his stash of any new food until we start him on another one - ever since the bananas didnt quite go down and out they way we expected them too we've held off on introducing too many foods too quickly. At the moment he's eating squash, sweet potato, avocado & carrots. Once we finish the avocado (mainly used as a snack or filler food, not a Meal), I'm going to move onto apples & pears - which have already been prepared and are sitting frozen and labeled all ready for him. Then after his 6 month mark we'll be ready to move onto a new array of foods! Adding more veggies (think greens) and a few more fruits - even some proteins! AND SIPPY CUPS!! When on EARTH did he become big enough to drink from a damn sippy cup!?!?! The time, it does fly.

If you want to pee your pants a little

Or maybe just see an adorable little baby laugh his little fellow ass off to a Baby Einstein video then go here - www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

Happy Friday!

Alrighty then.

Yesterday was a tough day on Liam & me - he fought every nap, cried while playing with his toys, cried lying down, cried sitting up, fussed at nursing, but did well with his 'food' - just a tough day.

He went down for his last nap at 5:30pm and didnt wake up until 3:30am. WHAT? He went down in his clothes but thankfully I had nursed him (as much as he would 'allow') before his "nap". He did wake up around 10:30 but didnt utter a PEEP. It freaked us out because he just started playing with his Neptune music crib thingie and that's all we heard over the monitor! Not one sound - minus the 2 sneezes - out of him and then he went back to sleep after about a 1/2 hour. WEIRD. He did EXACTLY what we wanted him to do BUT we didnt get the chance to put him in PJs and he didnt 'request' any food...

Finally at 3:30am he wakes up, nurses and goes back to sleep until 6:20 (UGH), or as I like to call it O'dark thirty. And then he was UP cause jesus, he'd had over 12 hours of sleep! I got in the shower after nursing him & left him with Daddy, fixed some coffee and then he was downstairs after "asking for" me (rolls eyes). We had stretch time & cereal (double serving) and then some avocado cause he was still asking for more UM UM...

And now he's napping (or noni as we say in our casa) - let's see how long that lasts for! Matias put him down so I'm not positive what time he went down actually...

Let's hope today is not a repeat of yesterday - it was hard on him to be so unsettled about every single thing he did (and let's not lie here, it was hard on me too). Yesterday was a total Woe is Me Day. Matias has been working somewhat "regular" hours lately too so not only do I have a whole weekend with just Liam & myself but I've been solo from waking till after bedtime for the past two days. And that is unusual for us - I usually get to clock out around 6:30PM and then just take care of his (Liam's) dinner and I can get various 'breaks' throughout the day if Matias is working from home, but those dont normally extend past doing the dishes without Liam in the same room, or taking a shower without rushing through it all...so this non-stop business has been tough & I'm wondering if he also misses his little chance times with Daddy throughout the day and at night...

babblebabblebabbleblah.

Liam's new little friend

I have TOTALLY not posted about this - mainly because I was wrapped up in Christmas stuff (no pun intended) but also because I havent had the time to sit down & write about it BUT on our way up to AoE we stopped off at the Tiltons! We spent the night & the two little ones got to play together :) Olivia is a year and 5 days older than Liam so it was really cute and neat to watch them interact and get along. She is a really Sweet little girl, with a capital S. And holy cow, the vocabulary on this one is amazing - I'm so impressed with her and how well she talks and finds everything on a book page and tells you exactly what it is! She's got her mother's smile and Nate's cheeks & eyes and this blond blond shock of hair that curls _justso_ - she's adorable & smart & friendly! We had a great time catching up & comparing notes (mainly about sleep issues) and just sitting back watching them play. It was a great way to break up the sometimes 7 hour drive and also a great excuse to get off the road and take a break! (and of course delay our arrival and time...)

Uncle Nate with his laughing Liam Fellow! We had such a great time visiting with them & more than once did we kind of just look at each other and comment "wow, who ever thought we'd be sitting here on Christmas Eve introducing our kids to each other?"

Nate also took a FANTASTIC series of portrait shots of Liam in his little private studio but, honestly, choosing a favorite few has been difficult so maybe I'll just quickly find one...

We'll be picking a few of these from the range of poses to get printed out and Nate even offered to "edit" them in his professional photographer way and we will consider these his 5 Month Pictures :)

Home Alone!

So who wants to come over this weekend? Matias is going to Philly for the weekend, leaving after Liam goes down to sleep on Friday night & coming back before noon (yeah right) on Sunday. He's going to see his friend's band play (Popejoy Trio) and to visit with some friends who are coming into town for the show.

It's my FIRST time alone with Liam for THAT much time & I'm a little nervous about how TIRED I will be. I have spent good batches of time alone with Liam BUT I have NEVER spent TWO sleeps with him alone & that makes me nervous. It's going to throw our routine off & I just hope I'm up for it - hopefully he proves me wrong and is the perfect little Fellow for Mommy. I'm not used to having NO Mommy Time at all during the day OR night!

And I will be PMS'ing. LOVELY.

So if anyone wants to visit we have a guest room with your name written all over it. Try me, I'm not kidding.

Good morning, Good morning!

Little booger was up at 6:20 for a nursing sess and didnt go back down to sleep. Ate his cereal at 8:30 and practically fell asleep in it and then took about a 20 minute nap! Here he is in all his morning glory trying to get the camera lens cap (his new favorite pastime) - please notice that there's NO SUN streaming through the windows/drapes BECAUSE IT ISNT UP YET!

Upload!

I uploaded a few videos and quite a few pictures (more like a couple "series") to dropshots...remember copy and paste this link cause blogger sucks!

www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

Old McDonald!

Liam playing in the middle of the floor with his new Old McDonald Farm and LOVING life!


And on this farm he had a cat!

It's Officially Official

[This is the email I sent around a few weeks ago when I let my manager and HR dept. at HQ know about my departure. I thought it would be fitting to post it here on the day I was to return to work. I still havent heard from my manager but HR has been proceeding with discontinuing my benefits (as soon as they receive the letter from Matias' HR about insurance coverage) so I think it's safe to post this now, especially since I didnt show up at work today!]

I'm now a SAHM! For those of you not "in the know" that means Stay At Home Mom - EEK!!!

I officially resigned from my job yesterday but since my manager was out of the office and going on vacation, I have not heard from her (nor am I sure I will hear from her right away) but I have notified HR in Vancouver also. I haven't posted this information anywhere since my manager hasn't responded and some of my co-workers found my Bebe blog and I don't want it getting around before my manager has a chance to address it.

I planned to do it a little earlier in the month but when I went to visit the offices with Liam, I was regaled with stories of how HORRIBLE my temp was and I totally chickened out from telling them on the spot. It's a little difficult for me to be all "hey, I'm leaving, sorry this chick sucks and you cannot wait for me to return cause, hmm, that wont be happening!" so I didn't. I'm a big chicken & I'm fine with that.

This is all scary and exciting at the same time as you can imagine...I NEVER dreamed I would be a SAHM but this is what I WANT to do, I couldn't imagine doing anything else with my time & energy (mainly because I don't have any energy left to do anything with!) & I am so thrilled to be able to do this FOR Liam. He's my world & I'm his mother & I've chosen to stay home with him and be everything he needs (please do NOT take this as a knock at mothers who work, it's not, I promise) while I can. I may not always stay home, but right now, we can afford it & I REALLY want to!

For anyone who has been in this position, you know how big of an adjustment this is & I dont know what kind of rushed decision I would have made if I only had 6 or 12 weeks of Maternity Leave because let us not forget that I am STILL on Maternity Leave - my return date wasnt until Jan. 8th! So thankfully, I feel like I have somewhat eased myself into this new role & I have come to terms with any issues I might have struggled with. PLUS, I'm doing my Creative Memories work so it's not like I "don't work" or earn any money for the household - which is where most of my "issues" lie.

Anyway...as of right now, I'm officially resigned from my job at the Canadian Tourism Commission, a job I absolutely loved & have officially taken on the new role of Full Time Mommy!! Send cookies & emails often, I respond enthusiastically to both equally :)

Favorite Picture from the weekend

We went and "watched" Daddy play soccer during the 70 degree weather on Saturday afternoon and I took his soccer ball, some books and toys along with this blanket we got for just this sort of thing (thankfully it is water resistant because it rained the day before and mud was EVERYWHERE) and we played on the blanket for about an hour just basking in the sun and letting the wind play with our hair.

Typical Man

Just like a typical man, Liam has started to take his poops regularly in his Office. I wouldnt be shocked if next he started asking for some reading materials too.

Happy 5 Month Old – 2 weeks late!

Well what another BUSY month for Liam!

I just reread what I wrote for his 4 Month Birthday post & tried to make a list of everything he’s accomplished since then and WOW there’s a TON OF STUFF!

My mom has noticed that I don’t call him “my baby” very often that normally I call him “my big boy” – it’s not that he isn’t my “baby” anymore, it’s just that he looks and acts like such a Big Boy that I cannot help it! It actually seems like he is maturing before my very eyes & if I take my eyes off of him for too long I will miss something. I know that this is actually how growing up works but it’s amazing to me everyday when I see it happening. And then I wonder where the time has gone & just how soon he will be crawling. Cause, yes, folks, he has started to think about it and even went as far last night to PULL HIMSELF towards a book that was out of his reach. But enough of what’s happening right now, let’s get on with the 5 Month Gush Fest (I’m planning on trademarking that soon!), shall we?

Liam spent a lot of time with family again this past month – with a trip to Carolina by train (he’s second) to celebrate Christmas and go visit Santa and have brunch at the Capital Club in Raleigh, a trip to CT for Christmas with the Ninos, and then Grandma & Grandpa came to VA to babysit and use our Anniversary as an excuse to visit the Liam Robert again. He met a lot of milestones this past month also, some he has totally mastered ahead of “schedule” and some he’s just_about_there on!

On December 11^th, he rolled over from his tummy to his back!! YAY!! Now he rolls all over the place, reaching and grabbing for his toys and kitties that always seem to be just out of reach. He has learned to tolerate tummy time much better seeing as he knows he can accomplish something when he does it. Before it was just like Torture Time because he couldn’t DO anything but now that he’s DOING something he’s all about it – even flipping himself over to spend some time exploring his new world on his tum.

We started him on solids at the beginning of December after not wanting to wait to see the doctor and we made the right decision for him. He’s weighing in a little under average and wasn’t getting enough good stuff from only Pimp Juice but with the cereal he really started to fill out. The doctor was pleased with his weight gain, which also put him in another size diaper (size two now!). He started to really out grow his 3-6 month clothes at that point – his pants had become little waders! I started making him home made baby food about a week later (mid-December)_starting him off with Sweet Potato and then moving onto Butternut Squash when he had passed the Three Day Rule test. He LOVES eating like a Big Boy. He LOVES being in his high chair. He really takes his time tasting the textures of the new foods and his facial expressions show it all. Carrots were introduced next & those are by far his favorite veggie!

Liam LOVES the train – he’s such a good boy while we are traveling. Eating and napping on schedule & spending the rest of his time just looking out the window watching the world pass him by. He spent most of the time in Daddy’s lap since we had just gotten colds that morning & Mommy wasn’t feeling all that well. He read books & played with his toys and even ate his cereal!

We had such a fantastic time in Carolina – Liam was spoiled with love and kisses and hugs and Santa came early too! He was such a CHAMP about his cold too, his first one, not much complaining or fussing just went on about his business like normal. He LOVED all his toys and goodies that Grandma, Grandpa & Auntie Leanne gave to him! He LOVED unwrapping the presents too! Always interested in what is going on around him and wanting to be a part of it. He got two new favorite toys – the Fisher Price Old McDonald farm & the Fisher Price Singing Animal Train with some extra monkeys (cause doesn’t everyone need extra monkeys?). The blocks with the farm are still a little big for him to grasp with both hands but he knows what he WANTS to do with them just needs a little help getting there. He enjoys playing with his train animals and discovering what sound each animal makes and giggling after he accomplishes that! His new favorite book was from his Great Grandma & Great Auntie – it’s a French book with places for us to put our own pictures, it’s a soft cloth book which is perfect for sucking on and waving around and every time we read it to him he just lights up. Auntie got him a fishbowl to dump out its occupants and then place back in and he would much rather dump and place them right into his mouth! Somehow there’s a lot more PICKING UP for Mommy to do around the house these days! Liam was a prefect Fellow when we went to meet Santa – I had such a great time taking him out all dressed up in his “Sunday Best” and letting him meet Santa! This Santa was fantastic too – he talked to him for a really long time & told him all about Santa and Christmas and he used a nice mix of religious and non-religious statements to get across the Meaning of the Season!

He is successfully GRABBING things from a distance by leaning forward from a sitting position or rolling over to get it. He doesn’t drop it after that though but manages to hold onto his possession and plays with it. His main source of this fun is his chupie. He waves that thing around like he’s conducting some baby orchestra! And then when he drops it (I think on purpose ½ the time) he goes Chupie Diving for it! Sometimes using his mouth to pick it up and then sometimes using his hands to get it back into position.

I estimated that he would become an Unassisted Sitter over the holidays sometime & I wasn’t mistaken! Our Little Liam Fellow is now Officially an Unassisted Sitter!! WOW!! We spend a lot of time on the floor playing while sitting up, reading books while sitting up, playing with his soccer balls and waving his rattles and chupies in the air. Now he has added the “lean forward” motion to his sitting activities and will lean until he gets what he wants and then sit back up – the fall backwards/sideways rate on this isn’t very high at all.

He also discovered shadows and sun beams last month! When we dance in his room he started staring at the walls & Mommy, a bit late on this tip, discovered that he was watching us dance in the shadow cast by his night light or the hall light. He will hold his arm up while on the changing table & watch his shadow move across the wall if the lighting is right. And watching him play with the sun beams is just too adorable for me. He lifts up his hand and waves it through the light, casting new shadows on his arm or body or even across me and he watches the movement of the beams as they dance and change across us both. There’s so many great and wonderful new things that he is accomplishing but I think this is my favorite thing he’s discovered this month. It’s just so sweet to watch him dabble in the sun & figure out with awe what’s going on and he’s SO happy while he’s doing it. It just melts my heart. He’s always like “Look Mom! Did you SEE THAT?? Watch, watch, watch, I’ll do it again!”

Liam recognized that Beatles song used on the Macy*s holiday commercial and would strain his little neck around so he could catch a glimpse of it every time it came on. He also looks at me every time a train passes through town blowing its whistle – knowing that it’s a train like we’ve been on and taught him the sound for. He LOVES and INSISTS that we all sing along to Old McDonald had a Farm EACH and EVERY TIME he whacks it on his Office & new toy! His whole face just lights up.

Every morning when he wakes up, Liam is just the Happiest Baby Ever. I’m not kidding. The smiles and reaching up for us is just out of this world. The hugs and kisses are getting bigger and sloppier daily too! He’s simply just the Bestest Little Big Boy in VA.

I could literally go on and on about how wonderful and special and smart and amazing Liam Robert is but I think at some point I’m going to on Liam Sugary Goodness Overload and just turn into a puddle of love for this kid, my little Big Boy. His heart is so kind and open and his mind is so alert and focused and his little body is figuring out how to keep up with it all!

So Happy 5 Month Birthday, Liam Liam Robert (as I’m known to call him) Mommy loves you more than those words even suffice. And as Daddy said on NYE, 2006 was the Year of the Liam and I couldn’t agree more.

Self Soothing

We are attempting to teach Liam how to "self sooth" himself to sleep/back to sleep with his Neptune crib thing...attempt is the operative word here.

He's in his crib right now, tired & full of cereal, playing away. He's not crying or fussing just talking/screeching but not "soothing" himself in the least.

I plan on just leaving him there until he actually cries but I think that just happened. He lasted about 10 minutes before crying...I went up and did the Beatles Bounce with him and now it just seems like he wants to play even though he's totally ready for a nap. I gave him to Daddy, who of course, is still in bed. He'll just nap with him in bed for now.

Any suggestions or hints? We dont want to do Cry It Out since he doesnt cry to begin with why have him start doing something like that? And plus, I cannot stand the sound of a crying baby.

I asked Matias to look into the different sleep techniques but he didnt do anything but agree to not let him CIO so I think it's time we revisited that subject.

I asked nicely :(

PLEASE! NO! MORE! BANANAS!

Stop the HORROR!

No! MORE! BANANAS!!

Liam opening stocking

Grandma got him his First Stocking with his name on it - this is Daddy reading him the Velveteen Rabbit book that Santa brought him.

(3rd) Christmas at home

Liam "reading" his Old McDonald book with finger puppets - most of these pictures have Liam EATING his wrapping paper - his favorite part of opening gifts!

Liam & Luccia

Christmas morning at the Ninos with his cousin Luccia who is two weeks younger and about 15 lbs. heavier than the Fellow ;)

Liam opening gift

Liam opening his IKEA penguin sippy cup at the Ninos (Mommy is drunk at this point & please also note that it's probably 3am)

Christmas Eve at the Ninos

Getting ready for Estelle's Christmas Eve Party & going to Mass. His mother made Liam that little jumper and Luccia had a matching dress also.

Christmas in Carolina

We dont have very many pictures at all from our camera but here is one of us opening our Stocking Stuffers - actually he's playing with Daddy's M&Ms!

List o’ Things I’ve Been Doing Instead of Blogging

1) Making baby food – 2^nd batch of carrots, a HUGE batch of Squash, Pears & Avocado. The bananas didn’t go over too well on the little fellow’s stummy so we are holding off on those for a bit

2) Cleaning out Liam’s dresser – moving his too small & too non-winter clothes to make room for all the yummy Christmas presents & Post Christmas Outlet shopping sales

3) Doing probably 4 loads of laundry of just Liam clothes

4) Attempting to get over my cold while holding off another one

5) Buying a dehumidifier

6) Staring at piles of stuff to put away in my room while looking for a burp rag so that I can wipe the snot off my screaming child’s face

7) Realizing that Liam’s first word is UM UM – our word for food. Yes, our kid’s first word is “more food please!”

8) Recovering from NYE at the Tavern (YAY! For the Tavern – not the hangover)

9) Surviving AoE

10) Telling Matias to tell the Pain in the Ass to find some fucking boundaries already before I do it myself

11) Getting drunk for Mass

12) Taking LOTS of naps (mostly during Christmas trip but also during Operation Recover from Hangover & Stave Off Second Cold)

13) Thinking about all the pictures I have to go through & post to show y’all what a wonderful Christmas Liam had

14) Try to work up the nerve to watch the videos from NYE

15) Wondering how long I can leave the tree up and thinking I can postpone it if I don’t actually turn the lights on

16) Sit in amazement as I watch Liam sitting up UNASSISTED

Holiday Get Out of Town Recap-a-thon!

Alrighty, so I didn’t get any updates in before I returned to VA or before I depart for AoE – I’m peeking in to say “hey! Still here! Be back next week!” again.

Quick recap though & anything I leave out is completely UNintentional and NOT because I don’t find them recap worthy.

1) Liam grabs for everything now. Especially things he cannot have. And he gets mad when you take them from him.

2) Christmas in Carolina was fantastic. SO happy we had the opportunity to do that!

3) Liam loves to eat wrapping paper & play with his toys while they are still in their boxes of doom.

4) He likes carrots the best, then butternut squash, then sweet potatoes.

5) He fell asleep eating the other day – I have proof but that’s way too much work at the moment.

6) Being sick really sucks but Liam handles it better than Mommy.

7) He hugs and kisses ALL the time now.

8) He REACHES for you.

9) He HATES having his nose wiped. Fine…stay booger-y.

10) His poops have now reached Disgusting Level. I fear the future.

11) Stuffy noses make changing poopy diapers easier since you cant smell them.

12) Liam loves snowmen

13) Now he laughs every time you walk down the stairs with him. I have proof but again, still too much work right now.

14) He loves the train.

15) He filed for his US Passport this afternoon.

16) He got his picture made with Santa and didn’t once even think about crying – again, with the proof thing, but seriously this one would take WAY MORE work since I’d have to take a picture of a picture and then post it...

That is all for now!! I’ll be back on Wednesday night & then my parents are coming into town for NYE. I’ll try and post while I’m gone, I plan on “napping” a lot and Matias never leaves home without his computer so…but I will definitely be back with authority in the New Year if not before then!

SO Cute!

We live right down the street from a fire station and they just came around the neighborhood with Santa & Mrs. Claus riding on top!!

We took Liam outside to see them drive by & to wave at them :)

Christmas must be coming soon - that's twice we've seen Santa in less than 24 hours!!!!!

You're kidding, right?

It seems both Liam & I are sick. Head colds, it appears.

He's being extra cuddly right now & I'm hoping he can stay that way on the train and that he remains a good boy like he always is BUT what crappy fucking timing.

Hyperlinks

For some reason blogger is not liking my hyperlinks so anyone that wants to mosey over to dropshots, I would suggest just copying the link and dropping it into a new window.

booger eaters.

Butternut Squash

Liam got his first taste of butternut squash last night & it seems to have gone over much better than the sweet potatoes :) It's not that he doesnt enjoy the sweet potatoes, it's just that he doesnt LOVE them.

I still have avacado & carrots to make for him but will do that next week (or maybe even take some with me this weekend if I feel ambitious - which at the moment I'm not!) so we'll see how he does with those! Then I think after we are back from our travels over the holidays, I will start him on fruits!

First on the list are apples, pears & bananas!!

I still have a crapload of stuff to do before I even think about leaving tomorrow but my To Do Lists are shrinking so that's a good sign! I think I have todays' schedule under control - breakfast, get ready to go out, WALMART (e gads), drop off order in Nokesville, come home & start packing/putting laundry away after lunch, get ready for Christmas Party, go to party, come home, dinner for Liam & hopefully finish getting packed for myself and Liam. PHEW. I'm tired just thinking about what I have to do!

I'm just worried about how much we have to bring for him this week...food stuff is my main concern cause it's the first time doing it and you only learn by doing in this new occupation of mine. My needs are my last concern so I know I can survive with just 2 or 3 changes of clothes cause my parents happen to have a washing machine, if I need one! Just to need to make sure this little bebe has everything he needs! Grandma is really good about having things for him so that if I do forget she's usually got it on hand or we can make a quick trip to the store for him. Nothing is every far out of reach but I like to plan for things so...the To Do Lists continue to grow!

I thought I was going to be able to have time to take Liam to a Mommies Group event this morning but that's just not in the cards. I only have so much time to get everything done & it's stressing me out! I'm pretty good about these things but it's just so much different when you've got the bebe to consider and take care of WHILE you are trying to get everything done! Example, how are you supposed to put his laundry away when the only time you get to do it is when he's napping and in his crib? Was easier when he napped in his cradle and I could be in his room during that time...I know all these things work themselves out but with everything going on right now, I concentrate on the little details and yes, I suppose, I sweat the small stuff. I have decided that the house just cannot be as tidy as I want it to be when we leave though and the babysitter will just have to handle the furballs rolling through the kitchen.

But with all this complaining, I have accomplished things :) Christmas card list is completed. 3 more presents to get (at one place) and my shopping is done, Liam is clean and taken care of, the cats are happy, my tree is decorated (but we never got the lights up on the deck), stockings are hung (with care!), and cute outfits are secured for Mommy & Liam for his first visit with Santa...like I said my main worry is making sure I have everything we need for our visit to Grandma's and to TOTALLY make sure I pack it all VERY well. That's my main obstacle, I think. And the fact that I cannot stop obsessing over everything. But, we all know that's not gonna change ;)

You may or may not hear from me until after I get back...

So Much to Say!

We've had a lot going on these days with getting ready for a(n) [early] Christmas this weekend at Grandma & Grandpa's (and Auntie Leanne too!) and an extended trip for Mommy & Liam BUT we've also had a lot going on in the house!

Liam is now eating cereal 2x times a day along with HOMEMADE BABY FOOD 2x times a day (with lunch and dinner)!! We've got it all documented I just have to find the time to post the pictures. He doesnt much like the sweet potatoes too much, but he suffers through them ;) He LOVES his cereal though!

He's rolling over from his tummy to his back consistently now! Much harder to control on the changing table also since he seems to enjoy rolling over to his side during his "naked time". He's shifting positions all over the place in his crib while he's sleeping. And he's sitting up REALLY well - it wont be long before he's an "unassisted sitter" - I think probably during the Holidays he will make this milestone.

He loves Christmas music & prefers to fall asleep to that as opposed to Rubber Soul. I dont think he much liked Rubber Soul for sleepy time music so I switched him back to the Ones (beatles #1 hits). Although his favorite song, BY FAR, right now is Old MacDonald. Even helped him calm down/fall asleep in the car!

Speaking of the car, he is behaving/tolerating it much better - sleeps during our trips and on only really cries before he sleeps. His cow toy REALLY helps him stay calm and entertained. That stays in his car seat permanently!

I'm having issues with his clothes though - since he is SO tall (27") that puts him in 9 MONTH clothes but his weight is still in the 3-6 month range. Seriously, he fits in 9 month old PANTS. He's just shy of 5 months. Either the boy will need a belt (do they make infant belts??) OR suspenders. Probably will get some suspenders if we can find them. HA! He's going to look like a little old man! He's already outgrown some of his 3-6 month clothes - even my favorite striped pants from Target! They are like little high-waters on him! So I'm a little worried here - gonna have to take the time and go through his closet and drawers where I have his next size clothes stashed and make sure I havent missed the chance for him to wear any!

We have Matias' Christmas Company Party this Friday and for the first time it's Kid Friendly so we will be taking Liam and debuting him to his co-workers - should be a fun time, they always do a good job with their parties. Then the next day we leave for NC on the train again - so we'll see how he tolerates the train a few months older! I'm packing cereal and a bottle (or two) for him to nosh on while we travel but since daddy is going to be with us this time, I'm hoping he will help out a lot with the "keeping him busy/behaved" also!

Exciting things coming up this week!! YAY!! I cannot wait!!

When you're the best of friends

Liam LAUGHED and SMILED at Monkey this morning when we were all in bed having our special cuddle/waking up time.

And then I melted into a gooey mess & Matias had to clean it all up!

Cry Face Progression

[Editor's Note - both pictures were taken by DADDY while Mommy was NOT present!! No Liam Fellows were harmed in the taking of these pictures]

Big Boy

Look at my big boy holding his own bottle yesterday!

Saturday Six

I used to do this "thing" called Friday Five and it would be Five Questions sent out every Friday...so I thought I would do a Saturday Six and list six things (go figure!) that just drives me crazy in love with Liam at the moment.

1) how he holds his hands in "prayer" when he nurses
2) the tickle spot on the back of his neck that sends shivers through him and makes these funny noises emerge from him uncontrollably.
3) listening to him talk to himself in the morning
4) watching him learn to pet Monk
5) whenever the commercial with the Beatles Christmas song comes on he cranes his little head around to see the TV - can he possibly KNOW it's the Beatles? It's not like we've played that song for him...
6) the nose scrunching

Like the Rooster Crows

Our son, and I say "our" son because lord only knows where he is getting this from, is an Early Riser.

Every morning 6:30 he starts talking to himself in squeals and gibberish and is as happy as can be! But damn, that's early. Now, thankfully, he usually goes back to sleep after I nurse him but on mornings like this when I am getting ready to head out the door at 8am, I'm hoping the noise of the house being "awake" doesn't keep him awake also. It's amusing to watch the cats listening to him wake up and talk - but then again a lot of things are amusing to me at that hour.

Last night he didn't sleep through the night either & I don't know why - maybe because I fed him dinner a 1/2 hour earlier? He woke at 10:30 and wanted to nurse (and that's fine with me cause I'm also trying to keep my supply up while we transition to solids) and then again at 4:30AM. He wasn't cold, I made sure of that - thinking maybe with the weather REALLY dipping into the low 20s that he needed to be more bundled. P.S. It's 12 degrees right now.

And I've been up since then. I couldn't trust myself to wake up at 6 like I needed to to get ready for today, so I just got up & came downstairs and read a magazine until I got into the shower. So, I'm frigging tired already & it's only 7:05. It's going to be a long day. But hopefully, a very profitable day! I just don't know how well I will be functioning once I get back home (I'm already thinking about this & I haven't even left yet!) and we have a lot to do this weekend as it is our last weekend home before Christmas. And not one single gift has been bought. BUT I have addressed a nice chunk of our Christmas cards :)

New video

I've uploaded the Snowman Series video to www.dropshots.com/talljendmb for your amusement. Remember, he stopped truly performing when the camera came out! And now every morning, we sit in our bumbo seat and play with the snowmEn - Grandma sent him one without knowing how much he loved the ones from previous years!

A Boy & his Snowman

This is the first two in a series of photos taken the other morning.


The first one is called - "Wait, I'm taking out my chupie!"


The second is titled "Liam & Frosty 'chillin' at the Piano Bar"

And because...

I haven't posted a picture in FOUR days (!), here's one for your viewing pleasure.


The Liam Fellow watching his Baby Einstein.

Liam Robert’s 4 Month Checkup

Liam went to the doctor today for his 4 month checkup (he’s really 18 weeks old though) & to get his second round of shots.

And the numbers are in!!

Length 27” – OFF THE CHART!!! LITERALLY!!! BIG BOY!!!

Weight 14 lbs. 4 oz – YAY!! He gained 3 pounds since our last check!! Even though he’s still on the skinny side, we’re bumping up his cereal intake so that will help him get the calories he needs!!

Head Circ 16 ¾” – his noggin grew ¾ of an inch since his last check!! They aren’t concerned about his remaining flat spot since most of the rest of his head evened out, we’re just waiting on less back time and more upright time to take care of that naturally! YAY! Our son doesn’t need a HELMET!!

YAY! GOOD JOB LIAM ROBERT!

We are stepping up his cereal intake to ½ cup TWO times a day – whoa! He had his lunch today and ½ a cup is a TON but he loved it and got his full so Mommy is happy. It seems he wasn’t getting enough calories from the Pimp Juice since he was waking up so often in the night the past few weeks or so. Next week, after we try out the 2x a day cereal, we will be stepping it up to VEGGIES!! WOW!! Our boy is growing up so quickly!! Seems it’s all happening so quickly. Too quickly, sometimes. He doesn’t need Mommy anymore. *weeping*

He did REALLY well with his shots, only cried a little bit and then as soon as Daddy picked him up he STOPPED. Mommy decided that Daddy can hold his little arms down next time…don’t quite know how I got stuck doing that in the first place! He’s napping now, after his lunch, so we’ll see how long he is down for considering they say they are ‘supposed to’ sleep for longer when they get their shots. Think they take Cat Nappers into account!

I’m really happy with his weight gain since I was starting to get worried that he wasn’t getting enough (I guess Mother’s Instincts are right on spot, eh?) with just Pimp Juice so I’m glad he gained a nice amount but I am looking forward to him putting on a few more by the end of January!

He needs to move out of his infant car seat by 29”, so we only have two more inches and then we need a new one – but this one will last him through toddler-hood so it’s not that big of a “strain” since he’ll be using it for YEARS! And I don’t think they are overly expensive either for what you are getting – just spread out the cost over the years you will be using it!

I’m really relieved that Liam gained weight and that we are moving towards helping him put more on in the upcoming week but still the little inkling of a thought of how I (or my body) has somehow failed him is still sneaking in. I’m just MORE thankful that we decided to give him cereal and not wait and have him go ‘hungry’ for a week when he didn’t need to.

Funny man in the house

When Grandma & Grandpa were here for Thanksgiving Liam started mimicking Grandma's cough. We call it his little fake cough & he's become quite the expert at it but now he's added a new twist.

The Pant.

He coughs about 3 times and then starts flaying his arms and legs and PANTING. And he thinks he's quite funny when he does this.

On a completely different note but still amusing to me - we went to church on Sunday & he filled his pants during one of the hymns/songs/whatevertheyarecalled and we didnt hear him "do" it until the song ended and he GROANED so loud that both of us had to laugh.

He is also EXTREMELY fascinated by the Christmas decorations around the house! I didnt think he would be so young, I thought this stuff didnt REALLY start attracting him till about 6 months...

He LOVES my new Let it Snow sign that Grandma got for us, stares at it everytime we walk past and we've even held him up to it to get a closer look. (it's on the top of the pantry door sill)

He LOVES the snowmen on the mantle with our stockings - just sits and stares at them whiling smiling.

He LOVES my Dept. 56 Village - everytime we walk past it we stop and look at everything and keep the arms pinned to his side as he is trying to grab at it all.

He LOVES the tree! We only have the lights and garland on it right now, tonight we'll do all the decorations after he goes to bed so that he can be "surprised" when he wakes up in the morning. But he loves to go over to it and stare at the lights and he just thinks it's the neatest thing since Pet Rocks.

But the thing he LOVES most of all at the moment is our singing snowman from Hallmark - he sits at a piano and dances and sings & Liam has been PULLING IT closer to him and HUGGING ON IT!! It's too cute! I took pictures this morning & a video but the kid has become hip to the presence of the camera and usually stops what he is doing right away and videos dont usually come out to great if there's only one of us here entertaining him! But I'll probably post it anyway so y'all can get the idea :)

Phew...

I was just nursing Liam and he was making this strange cry - not a normal cry at all - and I was getting worried that he either didnt want Pimp Juice anymore because he just wanted cereal OR that something was wrong.

I fed him for as long as I could with the tears coming, then took him to Daddy so I could quickly research what was going on...didnt find anything online to help me (gee, you think a crying baby MIGHT mean hunger?) and then I turned to my Baby Whisperer book and couldnt find anything in there either! Just as I was sitting at the top of the stairs, starting to worry maybe he was getting sick or something was wrong with the Juice, Matias came upstairs with a sleeping baby in his arms.

Thing is - this isnt his normal nap time - it's Juice time! His schedule is so rigid so it really threw me off that he was ONLY tired and didnt want to nurse at all. I know there should be some flexibility in there AND there is BUT he ate before his 2pm nap and then this was the first time I was nursing him again since.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm over thinking this and he could be in a growth spurt too but it really just threw me that he wanted a nap so badly and instead of falling asleep while nursing, he chose to cry. And, to be honest, Liam doesnt cry. He's even stopped (knock on wood) crying in the car. He doesnt cry when he wakes up from naps, he just squawks loudly! He barely cries when he wakes up during the night - as you can see most of these things involve WAKING UP and EATING!

Anyway. He was tired. End of Story. But I wasnt sure what it was and that is what was worrying me. I think it all centers around starting cereal & me worrying that he's going to reject the boob totally now & not just the right one :)

Can I have some more, please?!

Matias complained that I fed Liam messy-ily, but seriously, how else do you feed a baby and NOT have it be messy?

Get your feet off the table!

Liam's first meal at the table & his feet were up there in a nano second! Excuse the messy house! But check out the NEWLY REFURBISHED kitchen table!! Just in time to have another grandkid mess it up!

Liam reading a magazine

Hope you didnt want the Home Companion back, Grandma!

I feel like a pendulum!

We had decided NOT to feed Liam his cereal but when he didn’t sleep through the night again & it was taking Matias about 2 hours to fall back asleep after Liam woke up so Daddy decided that we needed to try the cereal to see if it made a difference in his sleep patterns.

The first night he slept normally – waking twice – and was a happy little camper all day long yesterday – even sleeping BOTH WAYS in the car when I drove into work. He did have a very bad nightmare that night around 1am so I’m not sure if he would have woken up for a feeding if he hadn’t had this dream. But he didn’t go down for his 10am nap which worried me cause we were getting in the CarCar to go ByeBye later in the morning – so I was concerned that his schedule was going to get more out of whack. Thankfully with his naps in the car (about 30 minutes each) he was ok nap wise.

We decided to use the ready made formula we got from the hospital to mix his cereal with last night instead of me pumping (Hate! Pumping!) for that tiny of an amount & he LOVED it! He was so happy in his highchair & had two servings of cereal and I probably could have given him a third if I wasn’t worried about him horking up that last serving. He smiled and kicked and grabbed at the spoon and talked the entire time I was feeding him! Then he was out before the first Beatles song was over (Love Me Do)!

AND HE SLEPT UNTIL 6:15AM!!!

He went back to sleep after a feeding until 8:17 and we’ve been up since then. It took him a while to go down for his 10am nap, in fact he woke up after about 5 minutes and started playing so I took him upstairs and rocked him to sleep and he’s still asleep now.

Liam’s doing REALLY well with his cereal & I couldn’t be happier! I started feeling a little ‘strange’ last night after I fed him though. I had this feeling come over me that he didn’t Need me anymore & that he was growing up so quickly and soon we would be feeding him “real” solids and giving him the keys to the car. And I felt a TINY bit resentful towards the cereal for giving him something I couldn’t. He finally slept a great nights sleep because he wasn’t hungry and he was hungry because the Pimp Juice wasn’t cutting it for him 100% anymore & that makes me sad. Here I was somewhat wanting a break from nursing and now that I have it, to an extent, I’m upset that he has another source of food! Isnt that what I wanted?!? I guess I’m just not ready for him to be such a Big Boy. And for him to enjoy it so damn much. HA. I swear I can see in his eyes now when I nurse him that he’s wanting that cereal! Lord, I’m just crazy.

Let me tell you this left boob of mine was FULL this morning! Whoa doggie – you try sleeping on your stomach with one Rocky Mountain and one Alamaden Valley Foothill.

I've got a Bobblehead Fellow

This picture just cracks me up - it looks like he has NO neck! and a HUGE NOGGIN! And I HATE this top. I think it makes him look like a queer figure skater - no offense to queer figure skaters. Or a luger. And I dont mean a pistol but the person who rides the luge. He just looks like he's wearing a skin tight top and it's making him look strange.

You make the call

Do you think he enjoyed his FIRST CEREAL???

There's one video on dropshots, we have another one to upload, but honestly, the files are so large it takes forever!

Let's play a game

The game is called "caption this" and you have to write the caption for the following picture. I'll set the scene...Liam is watching the news on TV. And GO!

In case you missed it!

I started using DropShots for posting videos of the little Liam Fellow (don't worry all of them wont be him acting so Liam Fellowish) and I think most of you got the link but just in case you didn't here it is!

www.dropshots.com/talljendmb

I havent posted any photos yet cause I feel like I'm posting them all the time here but I have sent the link to people who dont have the Bebe Nino link so I should probably get on that cause we REALLY dont need anyone missing out on how just damn cute he is.

Question of the Day

What music does your baby absolutely love? What CDs do you constantly have in the CD player or queued up on Winamp (as us modern mom's do!)?

Liam's Favorite CDs:

1) Jason Mraz Demos, Unreleased & Covers
2) Jack Johnson Curious George Soundtrack
3) Jimmy Buffett's ParakeetHeads (all kids singing his songs, with censored lyrics!)
4) Disney Lullaby's
5) Beatles 1 or Rubber Soul

Leave a comment with your baby's favorite CD & maybe we can set up some sort of Christmas CD Swap for the little ones to gift to eachother!!

(Sidenote: Christina, do you remember our Gift Giving Get Togethers at my house when we were oh, about 15, 20 years younger?!?)

To Not Feed is our answer

So yesterday afternoon Liam went down for a nap around 4:30ish (sometime during Oprah with Julia Roberts talking about Charlotte’s Web and OH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT TO TAKE LIAM TO SEE THAT!!) and he didn’t wake up until 7:15!! WOW. I thought his 8pm bedtime would be tossed out the window and he did go to bed later (around 9ish - before L&O but not after Charlie Brown Christmas…) but he was HAPPY while he was awake which, was a huge difference than his mood the entire day yesterday.

Matias did stop for cereal on the way home but since his schedule was out of whack we didn’t want to introduce something new to him so abruptly. BUT we did have him in his high chair (don’t worry Grandma, pictures are coming!!) and had him socialized at the dinner table. And HE LOVED IT. Had his feet ON the table in about .95378 seconds! He talked, he laughed and he just smiled the entire time. He watched both of us eat & jammered away. I asked him how his day went & told him that is what we talk about around the dinner table at night and he just ate it all up – no pun intended.

In my family, we ALWAYS ate dinner together & even if we didn’t have mind-blowing conversation, we all sat down together when my dad came home from work & I’ve always made a point of doing that in my home too. Matias & I have ALWAYS eaten together, regardless of what time he gets home or how long it takes him to cook & we are going to continue that with Liam. So this was our first attempt at having him sit at the table with us & he just loved it! I think he liked FINALLY being able to see what was going on at the proper level, you know? If he is still awake at dinner time, we always put him in his papasan chair but then he’s on the ground and that just becomes awkward to include him in dinner time…

And even though he went to bed later his sleep last night was SO MUCH BETTER (!!!) – he was only up twice! Once at 1:30 and then 5:30 for nursing sessions and then when he woke up at 7ish Matias brought him to bed where he fell asleep between us holding one of our hands in each of his. And he slept till almost 8:30! He woke up in such a great mood and has not whined ONCE so far this morning – he’s his normal, happy self again! WOOT! I mean, he didn’t even want to play in his activity center yesterday. Mommy is very happy about this because, honestly, the barely any sleep thing was really starting to take its toll on me.

Right now, he’s playing in his activity center and listening to Jason Mraz. AND he’s almost got the dreaded, blasted, ball thingie figured out!

And to address the extended breastfeeding question that Christina brought up in the comments…

I am not sure when I will wean Liam but I know that it will be past 6 months – I was HOPING I would start to get a break when he started on solids or maybe a little older when eating ‘jarred’ food but it seems that babies cannot have cow (VACA!) milk until they are a year old so there goes that idea! It’s not that I DON’T want to continue nursing him, cause I do, I was just thinking I could get a break from it for personal reasons but since I cannot, I wont! And I even was thinking of using water for the cereal so that I wouldn’t have to pump for cereal but Matias wants him to have Pimp Juice in it so that he recognizes it as something familiar…which I don’t have a problem with I just don’t like pumping & I have a hard time finding time to do it. And that might be easier if he napped longer! So now I just pump at night after he goes to bed – which is what I’ve always done when I’ve needed to get some stocked up for Mommy not being around (DMB concerts, CM events…) I don’t know how long I will nurse after he gets teeth - that will be a Wait and See decision. But I don’t want to put him on formula – one of the main reasons being the cost of it & then the obvious reasons. I feel if I’ve gone this long with nursing, I can continue to do it and not introduce formula if I don’t need to.

And the jarred food issue – I think we’re going to go the Mash It Up Ourselves route with that. I suppose we’ll see how long that lasts when we get to that point also but that’s our goal right now. We usually only buy organic or local grown fruits and veggies as it is so why not continue that for our son? If it’s what we do for ourselves, shouldn’t we be doing it for him also? We have one of those mini-prep processors from Cuisinart that I’m going to try and use & I’ve found a good “cookbook” for making baby food for all ages and stages.

SO! I think that’s where we stand on everything right now…we’re going to wait till the doctor appointment next week to make any decision about cereal but I do want to start him cause I’m constantly worried that he’s not getting enough to eat cause he’s kinda skinny. And I know he’s ok but he’s not a chubby baby, he’s tall, and everyone’s babies are so much heavier than he is and I’m inclined to think it’s ME that’s not allowing him to put on a lot of weight. I would say that he’s probably only 13 pounds at the moment – which is more than double his birth weight at 4 months plus BUT I just don’t know…I think it’s a common mommy issue to worry about your baby getting enough to eat…and I would feel much better if I knew 100% for a fact that he was enough to eat. Again, I know this is something to discuss with his doctor next week!
And on a totally unrelated note – yesterday on Oprah, Julia Roberts was talking about recycling and she said “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle just like Jack Johnson sings on the Curious George soundtrack” and I got the biggest kick out of that. It’s simply, hands-down the BEST CD for kids [almost] EVER! And to think that my kid is as cool as her kids and listening to it – strikes right into my goofy celebrity gossip heart! OR I should say that HER kids are listening to the same music as Liam. HA! Bet she doesn’t have the ultra cool Jason Mraz compilation CD though. Hmmm, I should send it to her. Or anyone here that doesn’t already have this for you baby! Let me know & I’ll send it to you – it’s just the bestest.

So here’s another random question. Wait I’ll save it for another post. What a tease I am.