I'm really pissed off right now at some friends that invited Liam & I over for dinner tonight. I ended up leaving before dinner even happened & I ended up getting terribly upset with Liam when, of course, he didn't deserve the brunt of it.
I'm Single Parenting this weekend, which is part of the equation. I'm tired, psychically & emotionally; although those are not reasons for losing my patience with Liam they are my excuses.
When invited over to someone's house who does not have children, do yourself a favor and do not expect them to understand what it's like to have an almost 2 year old. Yes, sometimes he screams after the cats but that doesn't make him a bad child nor does it give you the freedom to yell at my child. It's not an act that he gets away with at home with his own cats so don't go thinking that I think it's cute or acceptable; you don't see me laughing, do you? And if you are someone who happens to spend a lot of time with Liam, someone who Liam adores, do NOT change your tune & expect to get your Grown Up Time simply because you think you should. Do you really think HE knows the difference? Do you really think that he's going to understand "not right now, I'm eating"? What kind of response do you think that will generate from him? Certainly I hope you weren't expecting a positive one. Do you really think he can turn off his Object of Affection Adoration like a light switch simply because we're in a different location? Is that really fair for you to expect that from him? How could you do that to him? Why would you do that to him? I'm going to say it again he doesn't get it.
In less than 5 minutes, Liam got yelled at by someone other than his parents, told by his objection of affection that she didn't think he was funny & she wasn't laughing & had my other friend tell his other two EIGHTY YEAR OLD guests that he "loves Liam, but taking this 24 hours a day...well he just couldn't handle that". I'm embarrassed to admit that I lost my patience and took him upstairs to try & calm him down where I promptly spanked him when he lost his temper with me. I was embarrassed of his behavior when there was nothing to be embarrassed about. He's [not quite] two years old. And the worst thing he did was holler at the cats.
I think the only person who learned any sort of lesson was me. Just because someone says your child is welcome at their house when they invite you over for dinner doesn't mean they are comfortable with the actions of an [almost] two year old nor familiar with them. He didn't touch anything, break anything, didn't even hurt the cat he was screaming at; he simply offended them by being excited about the cats. I suppose that's a crime & Liam certainly did get punished for it but he shouldn't be the [only] one who gets chastised.
To say that I smothered him with kisses & hugs when we got home would be an understatement. To say that I didn't hug him all that much tighter to me when I said good night to him would be a lie. To say that I'm embarrassed for my actions & getting upset with him when the people who really deserved got away with nothing [for the moment] would be an disservice to Liam (and [almost] two year olds everywhere).
To say that I'm mad at myself for expecting Liam to act the way they wanted him to act is easier to admit than you'd think. To say that I'm going to forgive myself sooner rather than later would be misleading. To say that I'm going to mull it over a second longer when an invite is extended is not far from the truth.
To say that I probably learned the most tonight & not the little boy who was only acting his age is the most humbling, shameful admission to date would not be a lie.
I'm sorry, Liam Fellow. I'm your mother & I should have done better by you. It's not going to happen again & I'm not going to let this pass without speaking my mind. If someone is not a friend of yours then they're no friend of mine.
* edited for Nana's sake
1 comment:
I think many of us have had similar experiences. I can remember doing that a few times. The good thing is you quickly realized that Liam was not the one you should have been upset with.
The strongest feeling of hurt happens when someone mistreats the baby/child that we love dearly. We are taken by surprise and can't respond appropriately.
We do our best. We love them. That's what it's all about.
Gr. from Calgary
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